Broken (Nathan Sykes fanfic)

Chapter 53

A/N: THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SO PATIENT! My internet is now back on after that horrendous storm, again thankyou! Omg over 5K votes ahhhh! I am honestly over the moon! Hope you all had an amazing Christmas, Merry Christmas! Hope you all enjoy this chapter:)

To those who are reading Broken in a day... I get you! I got two books for Christmas and I read them both in a day oops :P also those saying they are addicted to Broken, howwww? Oh my days! And those staying up for the early hours in the morning and being tired in school, oops I'm sorry? Don't sleep during school! Sorry for keeping you all waiting, please don't hate me? Hope you all enjoy this chapter! It's a longer one! Dedicated to each amazing person that takes their time to read this fanfic! So thank you! 

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"So what happened?" Jay asked as he handed me a cup of tea then he went on his phone for a moment.

I took a deep breath feeling my hands begin to shake, "I just had an argument with my mom." I replied. After the argument I had no idea where to go, somehow I walked all the way over to campus and went to Jay's room.

"What about?" he asked lightly as he sat down.

"Nathan," I mumbled.

Jay frowned, "does she know?"

I shook my head, "if she knew what Nathan was doing she would have me already on a plane back to California. I'm still angry about it but there isn't a lot I can do about what happened. It happened. I need to get over it."

"I'm still sorry it happened, I wanted to tell you but they wouldn't let me." Jay murmured.

I shrugged, "its fine. It's made me realize that Nathan isn't perfect, I knew before he wasn't as no one is but this has told me what kind of man he really is," I said before looking down at the cup, "I shouldn't even be here. I'm sorry for disturbing you." I said hastily then stood up and placed the cup on the table.

"Lexi it's fine, you can always talk to me." Jay spoke up.

I glanced at him as he looked at me steadily, "I think... I think it's best if I actually listen to my mom this time."

"What do you mean?" his voice was laced with confusion.

"Promise me you won't tell Nathan," I pleaded.

Jay frowned, "why?"

"Please Jay! I will tell him just not yet," I replied looking at him carefully.

Jay sighed before nodding his head, "okay fine I won't tell Nathan."

I took a deep breath. "They're leaving. My mom wants us to go back to California at the end of this year, I was looking for a flat where I would stay but my mom is right. I need to go." My voice shook ever so slightly as I told him.

Jay's face began to drop, "you're what? You can't go Lexi, Nathan needs you. I know at the moment he's acting like a dick but he loves you! I can see it by the way he looks at you, don't go Lexi."

"I have to Jay! My mom... my mom told Nathan to leave me and he did it! At the moment I'm angry at my mom and him but she's my mom, Nathan didn't have to listen to her." My voice began to get louder with each word.

Jay stood up as well and shook his head, "he thought it was the right thing to do! He wasn't doing it for your mom he was doing it for you because he loves you! Don't do this Lexi, please just talk to Nathan and hear what he has to say."

"So he can carry on lying to me?" I retorted as my hands clenched at my sides.

"I would take offence to that but I'm going to let it go," a cool voice said.

I spun around and saw Nathan leaning against the door with a scowl on his face, "thanks for the text mate now if you don't mind going I need a chat with Alexis," Nathan said.

I looked at Jay accusingly, "this is the second time you've done this to me," I muttered.

Jay sighed, "don't break anything." He warned before grabbing his coat and then walking out the dorm.

"So what were you accusing me of this time?" the nice Nathan that I saw early was gone, he was not the same man who looked broken instead he was acting cold and harsh like the first time I met him.

"You lie." I said bluntly hoping he couldn't notice how my voice wavered ever so slightly.

He shrugged, "it happens."

"Tell me the truth. Tell me everything."

Nathan looked around the dorm before walking inside and closed the door behind him, "only if you tell me anything that I need to know as well," Nathan challenged.

My heart began beating quickly against my rib cage as his gaze stayed locked on mine, "fine." I replied.

Nathan walked over to the sofa and sat down then looked up at me with a raised eyebrow, "you going to sit or what?"

My face flamed up slightly before I took a seat on a sofa opposite him. He made a gesture with his hands to tell me to speak, "why did you do it?"

"He would have told everyone about Vicky." Nathan replied smoothly, "I chose Vicky over you."

That hurt. I ignored the way he was looking at me as if I was going to break any second, "do you regret it?"

"Yes and no."

"Why the no?" I asked confused.

He looked at the television before looking back at me, "it made me get to know you. I fell in love with you because of it."

I felt the tingling sensation in my stomach and tried to push it away, "how do I know that you aren't lying to me? That you won't do something like this again?"

"You don't. You just need to trust me." He replied evenly.

"Trust has to be earned, you broke it," I retorted.

He narrowed his eyes at me for a second before looking away, "do you love me?" I asked suddenly.

He quickly looked back towards me, "yes."

"Are you in love with me?" I asked then held my breath.

He answered as soon as the question has been asked, "yes."

Somewhere inside me I felt a huge relief but then I remembered what he had done. Could I forgive him for that?

"Are we done?" Nathan asked and raised an eyebrow.

There was something else, "why did you let my mom tell you to leave?" I asked him.

He tensed up, "I wanted to keep you safe. I thought it was the right thing to do. I love you Lexi, I couldn't go through with what Austin wanted me to do so I left."

"What did he ask you to do exactly?" I asked feeling tears sting the backs of my eyes.

Nathan sighed, "we don't have to do this-"

"Tell me Nathan! Please, just tell me." I pleaded.

He slowly nodded his head, "he wanted me to break you. Ruin you. Like I did to him because of his sister, apparently you deserved it I didn't understand how as you had just met him. As it went on I had to tell him everything you told me... When you told me something personal I had to tell him, I didn't like that bit which is why I use to argue with him. Then he wanted me to sleep with you." I felt bile rise up in my throat, "I disagreed and had a fight with him but then I did something else so I didn't actually have to sleep with you. When Ally made a comment on you staying at someone house I had... I had told then that we had slept together, I took your bra for evidence. So when you wanted to fuck I couldn't do it because I remembered what Austin told me to do."

I felt my throat tighten slightly as I held back tears. This was the truth. I needed the truth and now I have it.

"Okay," was all I said as I leaned back in the sofa feeling my body ache from tending up.

"My turn," he said and furrowed his eyebrows, "do you hate me?"

I shot him a glare. He shrugged and held a challenging look to him before I sighed letting my shoulders fall, "no."

"Are you in love with me?" he asked.

My hands clenched around the sofa, gripped it tightly, "yes," I muttered out before looking down at the floor.

"Why did you come to Jays?" his voice was sharp. I looked up and saw him glaring at me which caused me to raise my eyebrow.

"Jealous?" I challenged.

Nathan stood up quickly which made me jump as he walked over to the window not saying anything therefore proving my point, "I had an argument with my mom and I just turned up here."

His shoulders tensed up making the muscles in his back noticeable, "what about?" he asked quietly as he looked out the window.

"You. I found out that she told you to leave." I replied and slowly stood up from the sofa feeling my stomach ache in protest.

"Will you ever forgive me?" he asked lightly.

I glanced around the dorm before looking back towards him, "anything else?" I asked ignoring the question.

He turned around and looked at me from where he was standing with a puzzled expression, "what's the deal between you and Austin?"

I felt my face pale slightly, "what?"

He narrowed his eyes slightly, "anyone would be a idiot not to notice how much you despise each other. So what happened? No lying. I told you the truth now you have to tell me the truth."

I suddenly felt like I was stuck in a box where I was trapper until I could answer the question. I could run from Nathan but then he would definitely know that something was up, I could lie but he would know when I lie.

"We knew each other," I replied vaguely.

Nathan raised an eyebrow and gestured for me to continue. He was still tense and I noticed his his hands would clench every once in a while, he wasn't use to being patient.

"When I was 15, after my sister... died I began changing kind of." I admitted and looked away from Nathan, "I began drinking, I guess it was to take away the pain I felt. She was my older sister, I loved her and I felt guilty everyday because I knew it was my fault she died. Then during the summer I met a guy, he was sweet and kind and acted like such a gentleman even though we were both 15. I fell in love with him."

"It was Austin," Nathan spat. I looked at him and saw his resistance crumbling his eyes were blazing with anger.

"Yes," I said without breaking the eye contact between us even though he was glaring at me it would have been enough for me to cower away and hide when I first met him but now it barely affected me.

"You kept this from me?" he accused his voice was getting louder and he began to almost shake.

I shrugged calmly, "it wasn't to do with you."

Nathan scoffed, "so what else have you kept from me then? Come on tell me!"

I looked down at my shoes before looking back up and towards the television where the news was playing quietly, "we went out. His dad and him were in California for the summer and we were in love. My mom saw through him before I did. She hated our relationship, but I ignored her because he took my mind off Vanessa. I never told him about what happened to her, I was scared that he would leave me as well. His sister, Vicky, was at home with his mom that's why I recognized her name I just thought it was a coincidence."

I felt tears prick the backs of my eyes and my throat tighten, "then that's it. He left at the end of the summer and I never saw him again until this year." It wasn't a lie, I had just missed out a few details.

Nathan was still glaring at me but it had softened slightly, "that doesn't explain why he hates you. Why he wanted me to do this specifically to you. What haven't you told me?" he pressed.

"Nothing," I lied and looked away from him.

"Don't lie to me!" he shouted, "tell me Lexi!"

I looked back at him and narrowed my eyes, "you can talk! Everything that comes out your mouth is a fucking lie Nathan!"

"Yeah alright," he said sarcastically, "babe at least I can admit it when I lie you don't."

"Just go away!" I yelled at him feeling him affecting me already.

Nathan rolled his eyes and stood exactly where he was not moving, "not until you tell me everything and I mean everything. One way or another I will get it out of you." His eyes darkened a little as he spoke causing a chill to go down my spine.

"Well you are going to be waiting a while because there is nothing to say," I snapped and folded my arms over my chest.

He gave a sarcastic laugh, "you know I will get it out of you." He said slowly and took a threatening step forward.

I gulped down my nervousness and stayed where I was. I can't let him intimidate me. He took another step forward with his eyes watching me closely, "the first truth or dare we played you said your weren't a virgin. Who did you fuck?" he asked bluntly.

I just stared at him evenly as he took her another step closer, "who was it?" he asked again but with more force on every word.

"Jealous it wasn't you? You seem to be jealous quite a bit Nathan," I said with a slight smirk that felt strange.

Nathan's hands clenched at his sides, "don't test me Alexis I am not in the mood," he retorted harshly, "tell me who was it?"

"How can I say who I slept with when I didn't want to?" I said quietly hoping that he didn't hear it properly however I watched his reaction and he began breathing deeply.

"What?" he asked me slowly.

"Nothing," I replied quickly feeling my cheeks flush as he looked at me.

He took the last few steps towards me and took my arms in his hands, "Lexi please tell me I heard you wrong."

I shook my head, "I said nothing. Look it doesn't matter, I really need to go. Just forget everything okay Nathan?" I tried pulling away from him but he kept a firm hold on me.

"Austin did it didn't he?" he asked before he let go of me and began pacing, "the sick, twisted dick. I'm going to kill him." Nathan began cursing.

"Nathan calm down," I said quietly.

Nathan ignored me and carried on pacing, "he doesn't deserve to live Lexi! Why isn't he in prison? He raped you!" Nathan shouted.

I felt everything come rushing back. How I told Austin not to, I was drunk it was my fault. It was my fault when Austin first slapped me, he only did it once and I knew it was my fault. It was my fault he... did that to me. I should have listened.

"It was my fault anyway! Just leave it Nathan!"

Nathan shook his head in disbelief, "how the fuck is it your fault? No girl should ever be treated that way! I know what I did was wrong and horrible but Austin doesn't deserve to live, how sick can you be to rape someone!"

Sometime wet fell from my cheeks but I ignored it, "I don't want to talk about it anymore please just go," I said breathless.

Nathan ignored me, "I'm going to kill him when I see him. Why didn't you tell anyone? Did he ever do anything else? Fuck he went near my sister!" Nathan cursed and punched a wall.

I closed my eyes feeling sick, "Lexi talk to me. Did he ever do anything else? I need to know everything!"

All I could think about was how he touched me, I didn't want it. I hated it. I was too scared to tell anyone other than Kelsey, she was going to the police straight after I told her but I managed to calm her down. I was too scared. I didn't want anyone knowing, I was ashamed of what happened. I shouldn't of been drinking.

"Lexi tell me!" Nathan shouted causing me to come out of my thoughts. I opened my eyes and saw him breathing deeply with one hand running through his hair. I went to say something but I quickly left and ran towards the toilet in the bathroom where I threw up. Someone came in and pulled my hair back behind me as I threw up everything in my stomach, which also caused my stomach to start aching from the accident.

"I'm so sorry," Nathan whispered and gently rubbed my back, "I'm sorry."

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A/N: waheyy a long one :p so what did you think? like it? hate it? anyway... hope you are all having an amazing Christmas holiday! please comment and vote and tell me what you think:) so what do you guys think of a Jay fanfic after this one? Or should I do another Nathan? Pick one either Jay or Nath! Thankyou! Enjoy your day, evening or whatever :p