Danile

Inevitably

If you knew that  all you have done in the end would amount to noting, what would you do ? With a heart cracked in a million places held to gether by the duck tape of tough love and enveloped in a rotten wooden fence of innocence that would crumble In the lightest of summer breezes, if not for the ice cold metal encapsulating my shattered heart. What if when you spoke all you felt was heartache and desevation. I believe that  some people are only born with half a heart and others have theirs riped apart  by the life they have lead and everything they left unsaid. This runs thought my mind before I'm forced to start writing for Miss Carson class: Creative uses of Meaningless Words. Today's word is sand. I lose my slef when I start writing, my spirt enters this world of swirling possibleites with endless endings and heartbreaking choices that don't affect me for once . When I'm writing it's comes alive, the part of me that is broken disappears like  the the snow in spring melting away till it's non-existent, it  leaves me happy and care free, that is until I see what I wrote,  the ulgyness and the botched phrasing writen in an illegible script of my own creation. After coming back from heaven to earth to inspect my writing, which I never get the chance to as  Miss Carson snatches my paper to read  out loud to the class. I don't think she likes my work much and i dont blame her, but it's almost as if she knows that I hold my sadder writtings close to my chest hidden behind layers of protection I've bulit up around sence my 17th birthday.

"Okay well here from Magnus." She anoucned with a barley concealed snarl on the pronunciation of my name in her heavy German accent. " Life is like the sand held in the hand of an excited child, you believe the sand to be seeping throught the cracks slowly, but it's going faster then you can even imagin and eventually no matter how tight the child holds on to the sand in his fist. Eventually all that will remain is the few studorbon grains stuck to the child's skin, same as us humans when we leave this realm to the next ,that's is all you leave apon this world, fading memories and emotion Angus   apon those who knew you. But inveadable the child will wipe his hands clean and wash them to eat leaving your impact on the world as if you had never been born to begin with." She reads out loud, her voice slowly changing from heavily German accented english to the hypnotic voice she carries whilst she reads poetry. A few people in the back of me snicker probably Mr and Misses soul matest soul mates Jhon and Hanna, god their idoits I think to my slef. I flush from imbarasment at writing something so insignificant as this. So I abruptly stand up and ask if I can leave class early. She allows it. As I'm leaving I can here her going back to her lesson on symbolism, and  just as I'm about to turn to go down the hall, I hear this odd wistiling sound I  whip my head around and it hits me. Both literally and figuratively, my work was folded in to an airplane by the careful hands of Miss Carson and flown to me, but that's not why I stumble and almost fall. No, nothing as useless as a sheet of paper with unthoughtful scribles could make me stumble. It's the image imprinted on my eyes  as I tryed to catch the plane that has me falling and my heart beating faster.