Fangs and Flirting (Saphael)

Chapter one

Simon stood trembling at the edge of the Hotel Dumort roof, willing himself to jump.

Below was a long, long drop to the dark alley. If he jumped, this would end. All of it. He wouldn't have the shame of not being able to face Clary again, he would be properly dead instead of this monster, this thing existing between the living and the dead...

And this hunger, the hunger that was tearing him up from the inside, would be gone.

He took a breath, closing his eyes. Anything, he'd do anything for sweet oblivion...

"What do you think you're doing?" said a smooth, low voice behind him.

Simon whipped his head round. He was still panting in panic, pupils blown, but Raphael regarded him as inscrutably as ever, casual and composed. The night seemed to make his pale skin shine, the thick sheaf of his hair quiffed over his forehead. Like usual he was dressed in dark jeans and a dark jacket, although vampires usually slept through the day until about eight o'clock at night. Did he sleep fully clothed, Simon wondered, because that was just weird. Then again, thinking of Raphael sleeping in just boxers was also weird, because...wait. Jesus, why couldn't he think straight? He was about to kill himself.

He told this to Raphael, in a choked, half-mad voice, though he thought it probably looked pretty obvious.

"By throwing yourself off the roof?" Raphael asked, one eyebrow raised. He had a way of speaking that made it seem like he was endlessly amused and exasperated by everything Simon said. It was beyond infuriating.

"No, I'm just teetering here on the edge whilst I decide on the best way!" Simon snapped back. He was fully aware he sounded half-hysterical, but he didn't really care. Hunger was squeezing his throat and stomach even tighter, like someone clenching him with an iron grip. He had never been so thirsty... "Yes, you idiot, by jumping off the roof. So stop distracting me so I can do it. I can't...I can't be this monster. I can't live with these fangs and not being able to step in the sunlight and not being able to see Clary...that's not living. So I might as well be dead."

He turned to peer off the roof again, taking another breath as he sent a final farewell to Clary in his head. Would she care that he was gone, after he'd been so horrible to her at the graveyard and made her feel so guilty? Of course she would. She loved him. Just never in the way he'd wanted her to.

"Hey, Lewis?" Raphael asked. For god's sake. Did everything he said have to be so godamn arrogant?

Simon whirled round. "What?"

"Have you never seen a vampire movie? There's only two ways we can die. A stake through the heart or contact with sunlight." Raphael gave him a slow grin, revealing two pointed fangs. "But please, jump off the roof if you feel like it. But that's a lot of stairs to climb back up when you land on your feet down below."

Simon stared at him, opening and closing his mouth. He could his feel his disbelief slowly melting into shock, and then embarrassment. Of course he'd known that- he'd watched tons of vampire movies. "Fine" he mumbled at last, stepping back and facing him. "Then give me a stake. Because I can't..." he winced, bracing a hand against his throat. "Take this hunger anymore. It's agony."

Reaching inside his jacket, Raphael drew out a hospital bag of dark red liquid. Just the sight of it sent a pang of hunger so painful reverberating through Simon's body that he yelled out, his fangs throbbing in his gums. Raphael held it out to him, eyebrows raised. "Then take it."

"No. No!" In his haste to get away Simon almost stumbled, shaking his head violently. "I won't be a blood sucking leech, I won't be a monster who drinks blood. It's wrong and it's horrible and I won't-" he broke off with a gasp as Raphael gave a casual shrug and ripped off the top of the bag, raising it to his mouth.