70's Porno Music

Beverly

Jan 13. 1973

Can you believe that Nixon will be president again in a week. Why did we ever give that man a first term? Maybe I should get in politics.. Imagine that.. A woman who f*cks for a living as a senator. I'd be a legend.

Oh. Happy New Year. I don't really know why I'm speaking to you as if you're real, journal. As I said yesterday, you're hear to listen I guess. I'm not making any sense.

I have a shoot today. With a girl. Don said he also has some great news for me. Hope it's some kind of pay out. The more lipstick and dope I can get, the happier I am.

I met someone. I don't really remember his face. It was New Year's. I remember he liked my lipstick. And I'm guessing my lips too. I kissed him. I can't remember his face but I do remember his lips.

Am I turning into to some kind of love struck moron? The last thing I need is a boyfriend. Besides, I'll never see him again. He never told me his name. I haven't been out the house since that night. Almost two weeks..

I don't remember a lot from that night. I remember the kiss. I remember saying sorry. I remember the needle. I don't remember how I got home. I do know I woke up alone. My clothes were still in tact.  Thank God.

Damn. I just remembered I need to stop by the store. Maybe this journal can serve as a some kind of shopping list.

Buy
Cigarettes
Pick
Purple lipstick ???

Someone's calling.. I'll finish this later.

***

I just got back from my shoot. It's almost ten p.m. I'm having the worst time getting my eyeliner off. Joe called again.. that's who was ringing me up earlier. He wants me back. I told him I needed some time and I would call him later.

It's been hours since then if you haven't noticed. I don't want to call back. When I was at the store searching for my wallet in my purse, I found a number scratched on a joint. It's sitting by my phone right now. Should I call it? It could be anyone.. Maybe some loaded business man. Jesus, why am I speaking to you like this? Or it like this?

Before I forget I have to tell you about the good news! Don is trying to get me in with the Playboy bunnies. Wouldn't that be great? It's only been a dream of mine since I moved out here. Don thinks I have a great shot. There's only been a couple black features and he thinks I have the "look". He even put his fingers up and everything.

It wasn't a bigger payout but it was something even better. But Don said I had to get clean. I won't Mr. Hefner for a couple months so I don't have to quit now.

Besides, I will never let a man have complete control over me even if it is my manager. I'm young. I have access to the best drugs in this town. I am as independent as any woman can get.

It's time for me to go to bed. Maybe I'll call that number in the morning. Or not.

And if this so called God is reading this, save us from Nixon.