Guilty Pleasures

Chapter 4: The Butler

I cry the whole way home. Why did he do this to me? I'm perfect! Why did Paisley do this to me? Am I perfect? Oh no, I can't doubt that. Of course I am.

There's only one thing that can make me feel better now. When I get home, I send Lucilla on her way and run into the house, my head in my hands. I need Sterling. Where is he?

I'm running down the hallway when I bump into someone. I look up and see him. "Oh, Sterling!" I sob. I embrace him in a bear hug and watch the tears run down his fancy suit shoulder (what a shame, it's not waterproof!). I sniff and look up at him, seeing my eyes red and puffy in the reflection of his wire-rimmed glasses. (I hate when I don't look good, which is almost never.)

"Ms. Holloway..." He starts.

"Don't Sterling. You know it's Daisy. You know how I feel about formality with you." I take my hand and rub it against his freshly-shaven cheek.

"Daisy...we can't. We can't keep doing this. It may be your 'guilty pleasure' but it's also our lives."

No! "It doesn't matter, baby! We can be together! No one needs to know! We don't need to stop!" I cling to the lapel of his coat, but he steps away.

"No, Daisy. No mor-"

I cut him off with a kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck, sensing his shock. He's surprised, but he kisses me back. Thank god! The kiss becomes more passionate, but he pushes me away too soon.

"What?" I whine. Did I do something wrong? Oh no, it's impossible for me to do something wrong.

"Come." He takes my (well polished) hand and leads me out of the foyer into the hearth room, where the sunlight streaming through the wall of bay windows temporarily blinds me. I stumble onto the leather couch, pulling Sterling down with me. He brings his face towards my lips, but I stop him.

"Wait," I whisper. He looks at me, confused, until his face shows that he remembers what I'm talking about. He pulls a bottle of hand sanitizer out of his pocket and squirts a big dollop out onto his hand. He rubs it all over his hands and arms, cleaning off all those gross germs that the house staff have. If I can't have Simon, I'll have Sterling.

Sterling leaves to do dishes after about 30 minutes. He needs to look busy for when Daddy gets home.

I go up to my room and stare at myself in the mirror. I am so fat. The only thing I eat or drink is protein smoothies, and I still weigh 103 pounds! I decide to get on my elliptical. Might as well burn some fat before dinner. Well, I watch Daddy eat dinner. I don't eat it, that's atrocious.

I've been on the elliptical for about an hour when Daddy gets home. I hear him bellowing downstairs and run down. He's wearing a suit and pink tie. Oh, Daddy is so stylish!

"Hi Daddy! How big is the paycheck for today?" I yell as I run down the grand staircase.

"It's a big one, sweetie! Do you need any new devices? I know one of your laptops has been acting weird." His deep voice echoes off the walls.

"No thanks, but I would like a new bed please! This one knocked me off it last night. How rude!"

"Rude indeed my dear! I will get on that right away. Sterling?" There is no reply. "Sterling? Let's go, I need you!" Still no reply.

We run to the kitchen, where the kitchen sink is overflowing, and Sterling is on the floor.

"Sterling!" Daddy yells. He runs to Sterling and drops down next to him on the floor. I want to help, but the floor is so nasty. Sterling is unconscious and not responding, so Daddy is calling our personal doctor. (Hospitals are full of sick regular people.)

Now all we have to do is wait.