A matter of time

My name's Isabella, I'm seventeen years old and I have cancer. These past few years I've been to hell and back but there's nothing more the doctors can do for me. I've tried chemotherapy, radiotherapy and basically any drug they had to offer. Nothing's worked though. And now there is nothing else to do but wait until my time on this planet is up. They keep giving me guesstimates of how long I've got left but no-one seems to know for certain. They're thinking less than a year. I'm hoping I at least get to see my eighteenth birthday, have one last Christmas.

I'm not upset about it or anything. I've given up on that nonsense. I'm just going to make my time left here count. Do everything I've ever wanted to do, no matter how crazy or dangerous. Live life on the edge. It's going to be a crazy time but I've got my besties Nicole and Jess by my side practically 24/7 and they make sure every moment is worthwhile and captured on my digital  camera to inspire future generations to not be deterred by cancer.

So a little more about me. My full name is Isabella Charlotte Wise but my besties call me Issy. My parents call me Bella and they're extremely overprotective and to be quite honest they have every right to be. They've been great over the past few years, even arranging for me to resist my GCSEs when I had to miss them due to hospital stays. I didn't do too bad considering I missed most of year 11. 3B's, 6C's, 2D's and an F in maths, boy did I love maths! Note the sarcasm. I've not bothered applying to any sixth forms since I probably won't be around to finish the course so there's no point wasting hours of my already shortened life. Anyway, I'm an only child so I guess that makes the news a lot harder for my parents since they won't have anyone to look after once I've gone. They've talked about adopting a child or fostering and I agree with their decision. I didn't at the start but I know now that they aren't attempting to replace me so they might as well do some good in the world.

I had long brown hair before the treatment. Now I just wear a headscarf but my hair has started to regrow. I usually wore it in a fish tail plat. Simple but stylish. I had quite clear skin and I didn't want to ruin it with makeup.I usually just opted for a big of mascara and eyeliner, and a bit of lippie when I felt the need. Usually I just stuck to lip gloss. Now my face remains clear, I want to show the real me before I go. Let people see the person I truly am.

I had a boyfriend before I got diagnosed. Upped and left when I told him. I don't blame him to be honest. If the tables were turned I'd have probably done the same thing. His name was Chris. He was my first boyfriend and probably my last. I remember our first kiss. We were watching the sunset in the park, when he turned to me and our lips met. It was a magical moment.

I've created a bucket list and I want to try and complete it whilst I still have the chance. Most of the things are quite demanding, a few are stupid and some are downright crazy. But hey it's my life.

Be the change you see in the world, a wise man once said and I intend to do just that. After all, it's only a matter of time before I'm gone.