My Meltdown Diary

entry 5

I'm done I'm just done with everything all the yelling all the fighting even brandon is being a douche and saying that dad and crystal won't let me move in that I'm not going to be able to have a life he came in this morning and asked where mother was and I don't know or care I don't give a Fuck I am moving I don't care where and I'm getting my blue buster back too literally the second thing my brother said is I'm useless and no fucking care of this world that I'm useless and should just die I'm done I am fucking down with both of them I am leaving I can't live like this anymore I have to escape I literally already tried to hang myself again today I am done I am fucking done I am going to kill myself I am done with living it doesn't matter I am useless no one care I may as well die right there won't be anyone who cares so I don't need a funeral I just need to die I hope Teri tells Luke how mush I loved him I hope Luke finds out I never stopped loving him I hope Teri has a good life I hope things turn out well I hope she realizes that with every death there will be after math and that she brings it around to be happier and not suicidal I hope that bella remembers me I hope that the three people who matter live long happy lives and I hope Luke knows I loved him goodbye I'm going to hang myself now I was literally finishing my now of goodbyes and final wishes and wagon wheel came on I am literally crying Teri please tel Luke I will always love him make sure he gets my diamond necklace and my songbook I'm sorry it's tied I'm not hanging anymore but I feel it around my neck my face is turning red my breathing is slowing its getting harder to breath it's getting easier to say goodbye its getting closer to death I know it is I'm sorry and goodbye.