Dean loved his watch. It was the only thing that he had kept from his previous life, a memento of happier, more simple times. Even in the quietest of times, the loud constant ticks were a reminder to him that the world was still turning and all was not lost.
A year had passed since Sam had said the big "Yes" to Lucifer but the pain it caused Dean was still so very real. He'd kept himself busy: planning, drinking and killing every Croat he came across. Even for all this, he could still not find any sort of comfort. None at all. Dean became a recluse after moving into the camp, only leaving his hut to attend battle meetings or go on a hunt to burn off some pent up energy he was wasting, just moping around.
As for sex... Well, when Dean wanted it, he got it. No-one said no to the boss, either out of fright or just because he was a downright sexy son-of-a-bitch, either way Dean got what he wanted. He wouldn't interact with people otherwise, forgetting all about his friends: Bobby, Chuck and even Cas, leaving them all to fend for themselves. That is, until early one spring morning.
The screams were the first indication that something was not right in the camp. They happened quite frequently, with women either spotting a croat a bit to close to the camp for comfort or finding out that a loved one hadn't made it back from a hunt.
These screams though... These were different. They seemed more like anger than fright, a deeper growling yell is what caught Dean's attention. It was coming from Castiel's cabin. With his curiosity piqued for the first time in a long time, Dean decided to investigate. He headed outside and down a few doors before he stood outside the Cas's door, which was slightly open.
Dean took a breath before heading up the stairs and pushing the door slightly more open, until he could see inside. The decor of Cas's place looked like it had come straight out of the 60's. There were rainbow pillows strewn around the floor, bead curtains hanging in the doorways and a fake-fur mat sprawled out in front of a crackling fire. The air was musty, tinged with the unmistakable odor of marijuana.
Dean realised then, just how long it had been since he had actually seen Castiel. It must be weeks, if not months. As the reality of what he has become begins to sink in, so does the guilt. Had he really ignored his best friend for this long? Was he even going to be the same Cas he knew and loved before?
Spurred on by the new sense of guilt and want to redeem himself, Dean pushes further into the room. That is when he starts to hear arguments coming from the next room. He listens a little closer, and he recognises two voices; one is Castiel's, the other is a woman's.
"Why are you even doing this anymore?! What the hell do you think you are going to achieve?" the woman screams, before there is a thud of something being hurtled across the room.
"I don't know what you want me to say..." Castiel replies in a calm but somewhat dejected voice.
"I want you to tell me the truth, Goddammit!" the woman retorts "And no more of this 'it's for a good cause' bullshit. I want the truth!"
"Victoria..." Cas starts, seemingly reluctant to go on. Dean hear a shift of an object before a faint thud, he thinks that it may be Castiel sitting down. "Look, it's complicated okay?" Castiel tries.
"Oh no, you're not going to pawn me off that easily. Look, I saw you there again last night..." She says more softly this time "It's just not healthy, you must know that."
"Must I?" Cas replies, in a much quieter and more defeated voice than before. There is a deadly silence for a few moments before Dean can hear a quiet noise, which he swears is sobbing.
"Oh, you poor baby!" Victoria says, before there are footfalls on the floor and another chair is being dragged up beside Castiel's and she plops down onto it. The next few minutes are filled with "There, there"s and "It'll be alright"s. Dean listens anyway, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot in the dimly lit living room. He can't recall Cas ever crying before, but then again, how long had it been since he had actually cared? Cas was more human now than Dean can ever remember. That thought scared him, but he didn't know exactly why it scared him so much.
After a few more minutes of meaningless 'comforting words' silence fell yet again and Dean began to wonder what exactly was going on. What exactly had Cas done to get this woman so angry at him, yet so sympathetic just seconds later? Dean was baffled. He hadn't long to ponder on it though, before he heard movements coming from the bedroom once again and this time the footsteps were heading straight for Dean.
He only had seconds to react before they were in the same room. On instinct, Dean hid. He had ducked into the storage closet so as not to be caught eavesdropping. The door was left open just a smidgen so the hunter could watch what was happening. He saw his fallen angel kiss the woman he now vaguely recognises from the strategic meetings on the cheek before she heads towards and out of the door.
Cas stood there for a while after she had left, just watching the space where she used to be, focusing on nothing in particular. That is, until he turned round and stared directly at the space that Dean was currently occupying. Frightened that he had been rumbled, Dean tensed up, stopped breathing and just stared at Castiel, hoping that he would look away. He didn't.
He had never thought to ask what it was, but when Cas was still a super-charged angel, he was always perfectly attuned to Dean and only Dean. Maybe Cas could still sense him, maybe there was a smidgen of angel left in him yet.
"Dean," Cas said, his voice hoarse from sobbing "you can come out now."
The sound of Cas saying his name filled the hunter with an odd mixture of comfort and fear. He remained perfectly still. He heard the former angel sigh before taking four confident strides across the floor and tugging open the door between him and his old best friend.
"Cas! This is so not what it looks like!"
