♡
I lay in the cool grass, staring up at the sky above. The sun was beating down on me as a slight breeze made its way through. I sighed deeply, never wanting to go home, for out here, I had peace. I closed my eyes, bathing in the warmth of the sun. My mind cleared of any worries, my body free of any harm. I smiled as the sound of singing birds reached my ears. The world felt so peaceful, so calm, and so happy. I felt as if I belonged right where I was; dead center in the tall, grassy meadow that stretched out beyond the back of my house. I lay there for a few moments, fully relaxed, until I drifted off to sleep.
~
I woke up to the sound of my fathers voice, words slurring as he called out. "Autumn, get your ass home! Where the hell you at?"
I jumped up and made my way home reluctantly.
My father stood in the door of our small house, a whiskey bottle clutched in his hand.
"Where the hell have you been?" He grumbled, taking a swig.
I held my head down. "The field...." I mumbled, making my way past the red-faced, big bellied man.
I hurried to my small bedroom and lay on my bed, my knees pulled to my chest. It was a repeat of every other night of my life. The almost too familiar image of me lying in bed while my parents smoke and drank as I prayed to a God, whose existence I was beginning to doubt.
"Please God, don't let daddy hurt me tonight." I prayed softly.
I could hear the tapping of thick soled boots against the wood floors as daddy made his way down the hall. I prayed harder and harder, tears stinging my eyes.
The door swung open and daddy made his way in, a cigar hanging out the corner of his mouth and a tall, round bellied, greasy looking man following close behind him.
I sat up. Daddy chuckled.
"She's definetely got a pretty face." The man smiled at daddy as daddy left the room.
I looked up at the man with my large brown, doe eyes, tears catching in my eyelashes as I blinked.
He smirked at me as he unzipped his jeans and moved closer to me.
I tried to move away but was stopped by the force of the mans hand on my small arm. "You better stay still darlin', it'll hurt less." He said as he pulled my dress up.
My body filled with pain as he pushed into me. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine myself somewhere that I could be happy. I blocked out the pain that shot through my body.
Before I knew it, the pain was over.
The man pulled up his pants and left the room.
I felt a collection of blood spreading down below my waisted. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I felt lifeless, not wanting to move.
I felt pain in my heart as I thought of what had just been done to me.
Mommy told me I deserved it because I was a selfish, spoiled brat.
Daddy said I deserved it because I was trash and no one would ever have love for me.
