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I hate you. I love you. I hate that I love you. Don't want to but i can't put nobody else above you

Nakapasak ang earphones ko sa tenga ko habang nakahiga. Tiningnan ko ang screen ng phone ko. 12:57am. Gising na gising pa ang diwa ko.

I connected my phone to our wifi connection and decided to scroll through my facebook newsfeed, I got bored and went to my messenger.

Idk, all of a sudden. Naisip ko sya, at yung mga panahong ganitong oras kachat pa namin ang isa isa.

I miss you when I can't sleep, or right after coffee or right when I can't eat.

Ewan kung bakit but I typed his name sa may search bar. Kinlick ko yon

He's active now.

Him: chat kita pag may update.

Ako: sige balitaan mo nalang ako sa gagawin nating krimen haha

That was our last convo. Nothing follows. November 2015 pa yon. More than a year and i received no more message from him.

Idk what happened. One time we're as close as a magnet attached to a metal ganern and one day, wala na.

Do you miss me like I miss you? Fucked around and got attached to you.

Kinlose ko na yung phone ko and closed my eyes when I heard a notification. Inopen ko ulit phone ko and to my surprise, it's him.

After a year, it's him.

Kinakabahan pa kong buksan.

Him: Yes?

Nagtaka naman ako sa yes nya at huli na ng marealize ko... naclick ko pala kanina yung like sign sa gilid ng type box.

Kaya nachat ko sya at nagreply sya.

Anak ng teteng!

Sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko.

After a year, ganto pa rin ang epekto mo sakin.

Friends can break your heart too, and I'm always tired but never of you.

Alangan akong nagtype. Type erase type erase. Di ko alam sasabihin ko until i arrived to the point na...

Ako: Napindot lang sorry

Bakit pa kasi ako mag iisip diba?

Omg. Typing sya...

Him: ah okay

Anong sasabihin ko? How to make this convo longer? Kamustahin ko ba sya? Tanungin ko ba bakit gising pa sya? O kung ilang butil ng kanin nakain nya kanina?

I started to type my reply.

Me: okay :)

Okay? Bakit okay lang sinabi ko? Ano baaaa.

Nagttype sya.

Omg magrereply pa sya. Omg. Omg. Gusto nya rin humaba yung pag uusap namin!

...

Tagal naman.

...

Haba kaya ng sasabihin?

Huminto na. Tapos na. Ayan naaaa

Bt after 3 minutes, wala pa rin.

Active 1min ago

And just like that, he is able to break my heart into tiny pieces... again.

Di ko alam kung para san yung panggigilid ng luha ko bt I tried to laugh. "Gago ano ka ngayon?" Asking myself and I laughed harder, but with my tears flowing. Again, for him..

Akala ko tapos na ko umiyak noon para sayo pero dahil sa like sign na yon, nagago ulit ako.

I hate you. I love you. I hate that I love you.

Tiningan ko muli ang phone ko at tinitigan kung pano nya ko sinampal ng katotohanan...

Seen✔ 1:10am

Don't want to but i can't put nobody else above you..