Lost But Not Forgotten [On Hold]

Chapter 4

Daniel's P.O.V

November 6, 2026

"Daniel!" Wayne shot at me as I dashed out of the briefing room.

For my minimal efforts to be discreet I was very aware that my temperament was quite apparent. I was one to show my feelings painted plainly on my expressions, and that moment was not an exception.

"Hey! I am talking to you," he shouted, well aware I'd pay little attention.

In seconds he had caught up with me in the hallway. Wayne, though he was a good five inches shorter than most everyone, including me ,could without a second thought scuffle about faster than the pace of my long legs.

He grabbed my arm trying to yank me about to face him.

"Don't touch me!" I yield jerking my elbow away.

He had succeeded in getting my attention and I faced my friend.

He was a muscular Asian who'd stared at me through his exceptionally round glasses and stood erect so crudely it appeared painful. I wondered if he would ever grasp the concept of "at ease". He frowned up at me and I returned the expression.

"What was that about, man?" he asked, not wanting my answer, "you were talking f***ing nonsense back there to the Sergeant! What are you asking for, your head to be unscrewed from your neck as if it hasn't been already?"

I glared at him. Wayne wasn't who I was mad at though and I had no patience for arguing with him. Though I immensely wanted to be any place else I stood there not showing him too much attention but not denying it either.

"Look, you have to get your head out of the clouds you hear me! You aren't just risking your own ass no more! If you had listened to a word he said you would know it is a rescue mission--!"

"What!" I said surprised with just a pang of hope in me.

 I knew I wasn't listening during the briefing but I definitely didn't get an air of that from the atmosphere. Even when the Sergeant cut me day dreaming I hadn't snapped back into reality to listen. One of the guys would fill me in later hopefully. Luckily I had gotten off the Sergeant's hook. I couldn't remember what I had replied when he asked me a simple enough statistical question. Whatever I said it satisfied him most likely in repulse . It was now just the degree of which I had made myself a fool in that moment that was curiously unknown to me.

Wayne ignored me and continued "Look I know Alex died, but don't think you're the only one who will miss him and don't make the mistake of thinking your the only one who has lost something for this."

"And what exactly is this?" I snapped pointing to the ground beside me as if the war was an object placed apart from us on the floor .

Wayne was about add but I wasn't about to let him.

"No, haha I'm not stupid I know it is now a world war! But whose war is it really you think? Not ours!" I barked shaking all over I could already feel the tears welding. I was a mess but I wasn't ready to stop it, "It wasn't our fight!"

Other people passed us and some stopped and stood about to stare at Wayne and me, but I didn't care.

Alex was my best friend. We had been friends since high school and planned to join up together. Secretly, we were thrilled when there was a war waiting for us to fight after we graduated. We didn't care then if we were on the right side or if it was for the right reason or right people. We just wanted to kick ass and look good for doing it. 

Just weeks ago he had written me that he had lost the willpower to go on fighting, that he was snapping. I had told him to tell his commanding officers. Now, as far as I was concerned they had ignored him and no sooner was he sent to a God forsaken island.  Alex hadn't told me where he was going of course but it slipped that it was a tropical location. Then three days later the island territory Poesia was invaded in an unforeseen attack by the terrorist power and Alex was lost in some fight.

"But it is our fight now Daniel," said Wayne after the moment's pause. He was right. I turned away and he with the rest of the world faded. All I did then was tighten my jaw, clench my fist, and walk away. 

It was coming. Drying my throat, stinging my eyes was the wet salt I feared would pour out in front of witnesses. I tried to blink the drops away but they would only come back and blur my vision again. I didn't want to mourn Alex's death. I didn't want to pity myself thinking of how I could be next or why it wasn't me instead. As men continued to pass me in the hallway their figures obscured, I didn't want to cry but I knew I would.

God, where is privacy here? I questioned as I did a 360, all the sudden in complete loss as to where I was. I then saw I was two feet from the door to the restroom. I approached it then another man exited and shoved past me. I paused then continued pushing the door open. Inside the bathroom was empty where I stood smack in the middle waiting. Then like a rip in the fabrics of my being tore the tiniest drop of salt water from my eye. I let it roll down my cheek. It was then that all of me cracked! I couldn't take it any longer.

"Enough!" I screamed at the top of my lungs! I kicked the stalls, beat every wall, and threw myself around like there was no tomorrow. I did everything to hurt myself while abusing my surroundings that could feel none of it. I yield and cried, my tears I am sure added to the reeking puddles already formed in the bathroom. I honestly thought of nothing while I tore around that room like an animal, only the feelings. After I had only been going for what felt like five minutes my knuckles already bled and toes were crumbling. Then the door forcefully swung open and slammed my face. I peeled backward. Blackout. 

  Sorry everyone for how long it took for me to publish this. I have been doing extensive research on the subjects of this story and really want to do a good job with it. 

Note for Chapter 4: For those who read Chapter 4 before I updated the name mistakes; I am sorry that happened. To clear things up for the chapter I will say Austin is not in chapter 4 because it is Daniel's P.O.V. Austin is not meant to be mentioned if he was it was because of a mix up with names. Anytime I on mistake said Austin it was meant to be Alex. I have fixed this however and this note only applies to those who read the chapter before.