My One And Only [ Niall Horan Fan Fiction ]

31. Worse

Chapter 31

Liyah's POV

It's been weeks since I've woken up and found out about the loss of my babies. I went home days after.

Since then I've never left my room. Everyone had agreed to let Niall and I take the room on the bus. That has become my new home.

I've only left to use the bathroom and shower. I haven't eaten. Niall has begged me to but I'm just not hungry. I don't have the desire to.

I mostly nibble on crackers if that. I was good the first few days but then one day it just hit me and I haven't been the same since.

I've been majorly depressed and I've just shut everyone out, even Niall. It kills me because I miss everyone but I just can't interact with people right now.

To make the time go by faster I sleep. I'm literally sleeping my life away. Niall walks in and I look up at him slightly.

"Hey. I'm sure it's time to take a shower." Niall whispers to me leaning against the door. I hum in response. "Ok I'll be back to check up on you afterwards." He says before quietly walking out.

I reluctantly roll out of bed and head to the shower. I open my drawer to get my toothpaste. I like brushing my teeth before my shower.

I see my eyebrow razor and pick it up. I analyze it as the thought runs through my head. I clutch it in my hand and head to turn on the shower.

As the water pours down on me I being to cry. I look at my wrist that shows all my previous scars.

"If my baby couldn't live why should I?" I yell. Before I can glide the blade across my skin the door busts open.

"Liyah stop!!" Niall yells running for me. "NOOOO!!!" I scream before slicing myself.
"Ah shit!" I scream as I throw the razor down. The blood drips and mixes with the water below.

"Liyah god dammit. Why the fuck would you do that?" He yells at me grabbing my arm and turning off the water.

"What are you doing?" He ask me drying off my wrist. I let the tears fall even harder.
"Come on baby don't cry." He wipes a tear away with his thumb.

"Well this hurts like hell!" I say sarcastically.
"Why?" He asked again as he wrap the bandage around. "I wanted to feel something. If my baby couldn't live why should I? Huh? I'm empty Niall. I feel dead so I might as well be." I huff.

"Don't you ever say that. I need you here with me. You're my life. You're my breath. If you aren't here I don't know what I'll do." He cries.

I shook my head. "You don't need me. You were fine before me you'd be fine after me." I say bluntly. "What makes you think that. I was honestly never happy. Zayn, Harry and I were all miserable watching Lou and Liam all lovey dovey with their girlfriends. You came here and you brought two friends with you and changed all of our lives. You've made all of us so much happier. If I lost you I could never ever be happy again. You are my happiness." He stared right through my eyes are to my soul

"I love you." I hug him.

"I love you more." He smiles.

"Impossible." I say 

"Liyah promise me you'll never do this ever again." Niall begs me.

"I promise." I kiss his cheek before putting on some clothes and heading right back to the bed.

I slide under the covers and force sleep.

I wake up and it's dark. That must mean it's really late. Another day I've slept away. I went to the bathroom, did my business, and slid back into the bed. Forcing sleep again.

Niall's POV

After Liyah went to shower I stood by the bathroom to actually make sure she was showering.

She's been in this really depressive state. She was fine for the first few days out the hospital then suddenly she just shut everyone out. She shut me out. She's been sleeping the days away. She's barely eating and she only comes out the room to use the bathroom.

She hasn't come to any of our shows. She hasn't talked to the girls. It's like she's just completely detached herself from us.

"If my baby couldn't live why should I?" I hear her yell. I bust through and see her scream before she cuts herself. What the actual hell is going on with her?

~ the next day ~

Liyah's POV

I wake up again and see the sun is up and shining bright. "Please get out the bed." I hear Niall beg.

"No." I pull the sheets over my head. He pulls them back down. "Get out of the bed. I'm tired of you laying in here sleeping all day. You're not eating it's so unhealthy. I miss you, everyone misses you." Niall says not yelling but is very firm.

"Well I'm sorry. This is how I'm dealing with it okay. I'm not getting out of bed and I'm not hungry. So just back off." I roll my eyes turning away from him.

Why won't he just let me deal with it my way? "No I'm not backing off." He says being nonchalant. I sit up and face him. "You don't know what this feels like. You don't understand. My child. My child was killed Niall. That's like the worst pain in the world. I lost my baby. He/she died." I explain speaking with my hands. When I talk with my hands you know I'm seriou.

" You act like I'm not hurt. Even thought it wasn't biologically my child it was still my kid. I was already thinking of things I would do with them. I loved it just as much as you did. I understand that you might need more time to deal but this is crazy. I thought we were gonna deal with this together. Instead you hide away from everyone including me. It's hurting me too. I feel like a piece of me died. You're not the only one going through this." He yells. He started crying halfway through. He storms out and leaves me speechless.

He's right. I've been so absorbed in my feelings, I didn't even for a second think about how he was feeling. We both suffered a huge loss and I'm acting like it was only me. I'm such a bitch.

I flop back down and fill my pillow with tears. Well wasn't this a great day. I have an angry boyfriend and an injured wrist that hurts like hell. It seems like things just keep getting worse.

Hi guys that was chapter 31 yay!! Liyah actually cut herself again. She's really in the gutter. Her and Niall had a huge fight that lead to him storming out. It's not a good day for her.

Thank you so much for reading. As always I hope you enjoyed. Please vote. Comment if you wanna. Go check out My Life As Aloni I will never stop recommending it lol. Also check out First Impression 1 and 2, How Love Found Me, How Love Fixed Me, and How Love Changed Us. It's a trilogy and it's a bomb Niall Horan fanfic. New chapter will be up soon. Love you LOTS!!!