After Suicide

Waking Up

Waking up after dying is the strangest feeling. I knew I had succeeded, the overdose was enough and no one was home to stop me or to realize what I had done until it was too late.

But this morning, I opened my eyes, right before my alarm went off. My light flicked on as my mom entered my room, "Lily," she called, "it's time to get..." she trailed off, tears filling her eyes.

"Mom?" I asked, wondering why she was crying.

My dad came to see what was wrong. He slipped his arm around her. "Honey," he said.

"She's gone," Mom cried. "She's gone, she's gone."

They had read my suicide note the night before I assumed. My body wasn't here. But my mom still tried to get me up this morning.

It hadn't really sunk in yet.