[Completed] Sticks and Stones

  

 Where it all began, the day I became there victim. The day I became bullied and ridiculed.

September, 1999.

I was waiting anxiously outside the hospital for my mother and baby sister to be wheeled out of the entrance. It was only a matter of minutes but it felt like hours. These nine months my mother had carried Grace in her stomach has been so long, yet I’ve been the only one around to watch her struggle.

Graces dad left as soon as he knew my mother was pregnant. He was a stubborn bastard. He only wanted my mum for sex. But it hurt inside knowing she still loved him. Now all Grace had was me and mum to look after her. I was only 8 at this time but I knew from then on nothing was ever ever going to hurt my little sister.

July, 2005.

I was here 6 years ago with mum and grace waiting for them to come out from the hospital, but now its a different story. We have had several tests on Grace these past 3 months. She really isn’t well and now we are sitting down waiting for her results. My heart is pumping fast and I can feel the sweat on my forehead. 

The nurse came out and took us into a room. I remember carrying Grace there and placing her down on my lap. The nurse was talking to my mum and I was playing with Grace and her toy. Everything was fine until I heard a few words, then a few more, then I ran and took Grace straight out of the room and out the entrance and started sobbing. 

The words repeated in my head over and over again. I was sitting on the curb, Grace still playing with her toy not knowing a single thing going on. I made a promise to my sister that no matter what happens i’ll be there. But I only have one more year to spend with her.

 I was crying all the way home in the back seat with Grace, my face in my hands. Grace doesn’t know a thing, how could she? I could see mum looking at me through the mirror with tears falling down her cheeks, her face tensed as her forehead wrinkled trying to hold back from sobbing. I don’t know what I am going to do without her. She is my world and I love her more than anyone can ever. She is only 6 years old. She hasn’t experienced life enough to die. But i’m keeping my promise. Ill be by her side everyday. 

January, 2006.

I’m not coping. I’m not coping at all actually. It’s only been a matter of months and everyday my beautiful angel is slowly fading away. I’ve lost count of how many appointments she has had. Her treatment for leukemia doesn’t help her get better, it only stops the pain. But here we are, back at the same hospital we have been attending every week since she was diagnosed. 

I cant help but feel an ugly, greedy feeling in my stomach when she wakes up in the morning unable to get out of bed. All these drips coming out of her hand and oxygen for her nose. I just cant be happy. You feel helpless. You try your best every single day to put a smile on her face, like the angel you always saw, but you know deep inside she’s never going to be happy again. She hardly gets out of bed, neither do I. Im with her every step of the way just like I told her. And I’m going to look after her until we meet again.

November, 2006.

Here we are, the day has come. Everyone arrives in black suits and dresses modestly walking into the church where my sister lays. Everyone is sad and unhappy. Tears fall from my mothers eyes smudging her makeup. I greet my family inside and show them their seats. As everyone is still walking in I walk up to see my sister.