We Found Love

Dear John

You know the feeling when your chest was about to explode because of nervousness, anticipation, and fear? Yung feeling na alam mong ilang mga sandali na lang magbabago na ang lahat sa buhay mo, at ito ay dahil lamang sa isang simpleng sulat. Isang sulat ng pag-amin ko ng feelings ko para kay John, isang lalaking alam kong napakonti ng pag-asang magkagusto sa akin.

Naglakas loob lang naman ako dahil ilang linggo na lang, matatapos na ang school year, tapos magcocollege na kami. It was one thing that I was not excited about. Alam ko kasi na kapag nagcollege na kami, hindi na kami magkikita ni John.

 Nakilala ko siya nung kinder kami. Dun rin ako nagsimulang magkacrush sa kanya. Alam ko, ang corny talaga, pero I really felt the sparks fly. Nalaman ko na love yun nung naging magpartner kami sa sayaw nung foundation day when we were grade four. Fairytale kasi yung theme namin nun, tapos I was Cinderella and he was the Prince. Natatandaan ko pa yung feeling nung magkahawak yung kamay namin habang nagsasayaw kami. At that time, he didn’t only became my first dance; he also became my first love.

Naging magclassmates kami hanggang grade four. Hindi na kami nagging mag-classmates mula noon kasi nagkaiba-iba na ng sections. Pero ayos lang sakin yun, ang mahalaga, nagkikita ko parin siya, kahit na hindi na kami close.

So ngayon, I’m waiting for him here in the library. In the letter that I wrote for him, I indicated that if he wanted to tell me something, he could find me here in the library. Pero mukang hindi naman sya darating, halos one hour na ko dito, fifteen minutes na lang magsasara na to.

Ten minutes later, I realized that wala talaga siyang balak dumating. Hindi naman sa umaasa ako, pero I really felt bad. He was my crush for almost 7 years, that was really a long time, but I couldn’t regret any single day of i. He was my inspiration, and the reason why I loved to go to school every day. Siguro hindi na dapat ako nangarap na someday mapapansin nya rin ako. Masakit pala talagang ma-reject.

I gathered my things and I placed them back inside my bag. I stood up, holding two books na hindi na magkakasya sa bag ko. Bago ko lumabas, nagpaalam ako sa librarian na medyo ka-close ko na kasi madalas ako sa library. Medyo bookworm din kasi ko and I love studying.

Habang naglalakad ako sa may corridor, aksidente kong nahawakan yung eyeglasses ko. Lumabo ito and it really needed wiping. I really hate wearing glasses, pero malabo na talaga yung mata ko. Tumigil ako sa paglalakad saka tinanggal ko muna yung salamin ko. Pupunasan ko na sana, kaso may biglang bumangga sakin.  

Nalaglag yung  books ko, pero thank God na hindi nalaglag yung glasses ko. Siguradong patay ako kay Mommy kung nabasag yun. Hindi ko na pinansin yung nakabangga sakin until I really saw who he was.

Si John, he was still in his basketball jersey. He was really tall, like nine inches taller than me. I don’t know why, pero hindi na talaga tumangkad mula nung second year. His eyes were dark brown and they were very captivating, it was the part of his body that I liked the most. Gwapo sya, okay? Hindi na nakakapagtaka kung marami ring ibang girls na nagkakagusto sa kanya. Feeling ko nga wala akong binatbat sa kanila eh. Imagine, napaka-gaganda ng ibang girls sa school namin. Ako, mukang nerd. Nakaglasses tapos laging conseravative yung clothes. My parents were conservative; they don’t let me wear too short shorts or dresses. Minsan nga feeling ko muka na kong manang.

Mukang kakagaling niya lang sa practice. I blushed when I noticed him also looking at me. I looked down and I saw my letter was also on the floor along with my books. Mukang dala-dala niya yung letter nung nabangga nya ko.

I saw my familiar scrawl and the words that I knew by heart.

Dear John,

I’d rather do this now than regret it later…

I hope you wouldn’t laugh while reading this. I have feelings for you, okay? Don’t be freaked out, but I think I like you since we first danced. Remember that time when I was Cinderella and you were my Prince Charming. That day was one of the best days of my life. I love reminiscing that moment, that day was indeed a fairytale.

I know that after you read this letter, everything about us will change. Okay lang naman sakin kung hindi mo na ko papansinin hanggang grumaduate tayo. Gusto ko lang naman na malaman mo na gustong gusto talaga kita. Nakakahiyang aminin, pero kapag nagkakagirlfriend ka, nagseselos talaga ko. Kapag nakikita kitang nakikipagflirt sa ibang girls, nasasaktan ako. Kapag nakikita kong may tumitinging girls sa’yo, gusto ko silang pagsasabunutan. Alam kong wala naman akong karapatang maramdaman yung mga bagay na yun, pero wala talaga kong magawa.

Kung may gusto kang sabihin sa akin, I’ll just be at the Library.

Thanks for being an inspiration in my days here in this school.

                                                                                                                                                                 Love,

                                                                                                                                                     Krischelle ♥

He awkwardly helped me to pick up my books.

“Uh…ano…” we said in unison.

“Sige mauna ka,” I said as confidently as I could. I hope hindi nanginginig yung boses ko. Ang bilis kasi talaga ng heartbeat ko eh.

“Papunta na kasi ko sa library. Akala ko hindi na kita maabutan,” sabi ni John.

Pupuntahan nya ko sa library? Oh my gosh. Am I just dreaming?