Niall's sad and it takes him a bit to realize Zayn is enough.
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Niall's laying in bed wide awake staring at the ceiling, vaguely aware of the body shuffling next to him. It's three a.m. in the morning and he's still wide awake. Earlier memories from today replaying in his head and he cant get the sound of Zayn's crying out of his head repeating there like a nightmare. Niall stumbled inside like he does every night intoxicated with drugs and he's always met with a worrisome Zayn, who helps him get into the shower and comes on in behind him, small hands pressed to his back whispering "Why? Why do you do this to yourself?" And Niall never answers he just stares blankly ahead letting the water drip all over and he lets Zayn lean his head on his back and cry. Which Niall hates because he cant stand to see Zayn cry. Especially if he's the cause and he gets mad because he's the one that should be crying but he doesn't because all he wants to do is die and maybe if he overdoses one of these days he can be satisfied for once. But Zayn never lets him, Zayn's always in the back of his mind. Then he goes running home to Zayn, to save him to cure him just for a little while but Zayn's not always enough but Niall thinks he should be and Niall thinks he shouldn't be sad when he's got some one as great as Zayn and-
"Ni? Are you still awake?" a soft voice asked breaking Niall out of his trance. He turns slightly to see Zayn squinting up at him in the dark. "Yeah."
Zayn nodded before yawning scooting closer to Niall laying his head on Niall's chest still blinking up at him. "What are you thinking about?" Niall just shrugged wrapping an arm around Zayn trying to change the subject. He doesn't want to tell Zayn he thinks about what happens when he comes home stoned or how lovely it would be if he injected a little too much heroin. Zayn sighed shaking his head. "You wouldn't understand if I told you" Niall said looking away from Zayn, gazing out the window looking at the night sky filled with stars.
Zayn brought up a small hand scraping it over Niall's features. "I just don't understand why you're always trying to leave me." Zayn mumbled, pressing his cheek against Niall's nipple.
"I'm not trying to leave you" Niall whispered back tightening his grip on his boyfriend, wonderful fantastical Zayn.
"Then why do you still do the things you do? Am I not enough?" Zayn asked voice cracking slightly. Niall doesn't know why all of a sudden its like his eyes are actually open. Maybe its because Zayn's tears are spilling onto his shirt or the crack in his voice or how much he's hurt Zayn while he is hurting himself.
"Your enough, your enough, I love you, I love you" Niall says and he keeps repating the sentence because he just wants Zayn to know that he's going to try and stop doing drugs, that he's going to try and stop being so fucking sad, that Zayn is enough for him, he's always has been enough it just took Niall a little longer to figure that out.
"I love you too" Zayn whispers back kissing Niall's nipple.
