Once a man was patching a hole in his roof, and slipped, tumbling off the roof and falling hard onto the damp earth. The Grim Reaper arrived on the scene, about to take the man to the land of the dead, when the man suddenly got up, and began brushing himself off.
"That was supposed to kill you," said the Reaper. "I was scheduled this very moment to take you down to the underworld, and yet here you are, alive."
"Ha, ha," said the man, and he did a little dance, kicking his heels high. "I've cheated death!"
The Reaper was so mad, he took the man's head off with his scythe in a single swoop. The man's body collapsed to the ground in a heap, but the head rolled right up to the Reaper's feet.
"Ha, ha," said the head, looking up at the Reaper. "It will take more than that to snuff me out, you wicked bastard."
The Reaper began to panic. Contrary to popular legend, the taking of human life is a task reserved for Death, and not the Grim Reaper (though these two figures are often confused in the public imagination as being a single being, which is far from the case.) The Grim Reaper's only duty is to carry the soul of a dead person into the next world. Death would not be pleased that the Reaper tried to cut in on his territory.
The Reaper dropped to his knees, and cradled the head in his lap.
"I am sorry for what I have done," said the Reaper. "Please forgive me?" The Reaper began to cry.
"There, there," said the head. "Of course I forgive you. But now that you've taken my body, how am I supposed to mend that roof?"
"Worry not," said the Reaper, as he climbed on top of the roof and began mending.
"An impressive job, indeed," said the head, after the Reaper was done.
"Thank you very much for the generous compliment, but I must be on my way now, for I have appointments to keep."
"But what about me?" said the head. "And what about my wife? She's going to be very upset to find her husband unable to fill his marital duties. She'll be sure to find another man who can satisfy her, and then she'll toss me out the window like a useless ball."
"Fear not," said the Reaper. "For she will find that when she gets under the covers, she'll be more than satisfied."
And so it went, every night the Grim Reaper would meet the man's wife under the covers, and pleasure her for hours. The man's wife was happy, and this made the man's head happy, but the man's body was not so content with this arrangement. He was extremely angry and jealous that the Reaper was sleeping with his wife.
But what's a body to do without a head? For days all the body could do was blindly fumble around, unable to find direction. A crow, who had happened to be hanging around, and who saw all that had happened, felt very bad for the man.
"Oh headless man," said the Crow. "There's only one being who can help you, and that is great old Death himself. You speak to him, and he'll be sure and make things right." The crow tugged at the body's shirt sleeve, and led him all the way down into the great cavern Death called home.
When Death saw the headless man, he asked what the man wanted. The crow told Death the whole story. When the crow was finished, Death was red with anger and outrage.
"That rascal reaper is at it again!" said Death. "Well, I'll be sure and teach him a lesson he won't soon forget."
That night before the man's wife had the opportunity to get into bed, Death stole her away, and locked her in a wooden crate. Death himself took up position under the cover's of the man's bed, and waited.
Soon after, the Grim Reaper made his way into the dark room, and slipped under the covers. He immediately knew something was different.
"What large arms you have," said the Reaper.
"The better to hold you with, my dear," said Death.
"Death?" said the Reaper.
"It was that obvious, huh?" said Death.
The Reaper sprang from the bed, and ran out of the room in a great panic. To this day he has never again attempted to kill a human.
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