What's On My Mind

What's On My Mind

Eine Vuycankiat

What's on my mind? I don't know actually. Maybe the time you and I first met? How I see everything by just looking at you. How my heart begins to thud in my chest every time I hear or learn something new about you. How every time I'm with you, I feel like I'm walking on air. Maybe every time you say hi to me in the hallway after every time I finish doing things in the office? Maybe whenever my hands are full, you help me bringing them to where I'm supposed to put it. Just those simple acts of kindness you do make me blush. Just thinking about you, maybe? Thinking of how sweet and kind you are. Maybe that's it?

What's on my mind? Well, I'm not so sure. I mean, maybe remembering the past too much? Maybe recalling all the wonderful memories we had together when we were little. Remembering when you and I were soaking wet from singing and dancing in the rain just for fun. When you were chasing me to get back the cap you were wearing I took from you. Maybe remembering the time when I was being bullied of my so called "airport" in my head, then you saved me from them by saying they have to look at their faces first, with all those tiny circles and craters. Or maybe that time when you and I were talking for so long, it took us five hours to finish cause you were telling me a lot about the first day of school since you and I stopped being classmates that time. Maybe missing you a lot when you're not around me. Maybe that's it?

What's on my mind? I really have no idea actually. Maybe I'm thinking of that time when you blindfolded me and told me we were going to a place to what you said was a surprise for me. Too excited, you told me to take off the blindfold. When I took it off, I saw everything that I ever wanted to let you show me. It was when my whole world suddenly stopped and paused for a while, seeing only you in a distance. We were back at the place where we first met when we were kids, that beautiful park in the neighborhood where there was this little playground and you found me playing at the swing set. Then we strolled around that park and I saw pretty decorations in every tree we pass by. We looked up into the sky and the stars were big and bright and felt closer than usual. Then after a while, you told me you had something very important to tell me. You knelt down, holding a bouquet of flowers saying, "Can you be mine?". I've finally answered the question I've been waiting to answer for a very long time. Yes. Maybe thinking of how much I would like to be with you for the rest of my life? Thinking of how we might end up together now as one? Maybe that's it?

Or maybe I don't know anymore. I really don't know. What is on my mind?

Maybe it's just thinking about you? Maybe it was all just about you? I just can't imagine life without you, no? You've been there for me since the very beginning and I always wonder, do you ever feel the same? Do you ever need me as much as I need you? Do you know what I feel whenever you're around me? Do you know how much I care for you every single day? Maybe I don't know what you really see in me. Cause what if one day, you'll leave me for some other girl who's actually a lot better than me. Maybe you'll forget everything we've been through after all this time. Maybe, just maybe, you'll forget me in the near future.

Well, I don't care. Why? I may not know if this will ever end. All I know is that, this feeling? What's it called again? That feeling like you're floating on cloud 9 when I see you every time? That feeling that's just so irritating sometimes because it always gets on the way? That feeling that just makes you feels like you're falling and falling and falling and falling every time you never meant to? What's it called again? I think it's love? I don't want it to end. Even if it may, I just don't care. I really like this feeling and I want it forever.

Maybe that's it. That's what's on my mind. Now I know. It's just you.