Outlander | I'll stay with you even if soul is all stand by me.

Prologue

Time : Before Culloden battle, the stones didn't be able to send Claire back due to time problem.
Based on : book and TV show.

Announcement : I'm not an English speaker, I speak Chinese and my English is not well enough to write a story without mistakes, but I have this story to tell and I wish you like! (I tried to write Jaime's Scottish way but it was so hard, I need beta reader to correct 😂)

Everyone has something that wants to forget, some of them are past, some of them are memories. These things are like shadows, sometimes they disappear when the sun comes out, but it's there, you know it. And one day, you will realize that you can't get away from it, because it had become a part of you, either on the side of darkness or the edge of your memories. You would want to learn how to get along with these stuff, you might fail, you may be sinking with them into the very dark end of an endless black hole, but maybe, just maybe, you survived, because you find something to hold, something worth you to fight for.
For me, that was Brianna, and the beautiful memories of Jaime.

When we were beside Craigh na Dun- the stones circles - and my hands were on the stones, I didn't feel the shaking and didn't hear the sounds. Just quiet, and seconds later I opened my eyes and saw the exact same surrounding.
I rose my head and found Jaime staring at me like I was gone. The terror and worry were frozen in his eyes, and his eyes were looking at mine but not focusing on mine.

I moved the hand he was grabbing me, felt his hands were crushing mine. He was grabbing like I was falling to a cliff and between death and live of my life, his hands were the only thing pulling me from my death.

In fact, if I couldn't go back, I was not far away from death either. Why didn't the stones work? Why didn't they send me back? Maybe it was because wrong time? Or wrong way?

"Jaime," I said, a little confused by the situation now, I felt strong conflict hit me- I felt happy to stay with Jaime, but also terror for our baby.

Jaime didn't respond, he was still standing like a sculpture, my beautiful heartbroken sculpture, my bonny lad who would be gone in minutes. I felt my eyes were wet again, due the pain Jaime was grabbing me and the hole in my heart that was eating me inside out.

"Jaime," I said again, sobbing, tried to escape his strong arms. "You are hurting me."

Jaime reacted instantly, he let me go in one second like he touched fire and I was burning him.

He stared at me.

"Ye are real?" He muttered, his tone mixed amaze and desperate. I could even hear the sound of his hope broke.

And then he stepped back, muttered: "no no no no no..." His eyes were chaos, so dark and with no hope. "It shouldn't happen, ye should be able to..." he muttered, then said something in Celtic, something like pray, but also like a curse.

Now he was the one hanging on the edge of collapse, I reached my hand to touch him, tried to pull him back.

"Hey it's ok, maybe it's not the right time," I said softly, even myself could hear the uncertainty shouting in my voice.

"Maybe I just need to wait few hours-" I didn't finish the sentence because Jaime didn't let me, he pulled me into his chest with a short step toward me, he hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe, but I didn't want to either.

"I'm sorry, Sassnech, I'm sorry, I thought I could at least save ye..." his tears mixed mine, dropped on the ground and soaked in the mud. I wished we could go like our tears, into the ground and stay forever.

But the sounds from the battlefield were getting louder and louder, broke our moment. I felt the rush to hide and Jaime's need to go into the battlefield. But my every muscle and my mind were shouting to me that don't let Jaime go or else I'll lose him forever.

A louder sound of gun showed the evidence other enemies were coming. Jaime took a deep breath to settle his mind then pulled me a little farther, used a kiss to erase my tears. His tears made his eyes hazy. Then pulled me into another hug.

"Stay in the cabin, I do promise ye I'll kill Black Jack so even if ye can't return, ye'll be safe." He said firmly beside my ears, his temperature warmed my cold body. Then he grabbed my arms again, dragged me into the cabin.

"Promise me ye will not leave here, Claire, promise me."  He kneed down after he pulled me into the cabin, his eyes gazing mine, showed the determination of a soldier and the love of a husband.

I took a deep breath, realized how our path had paved and how it would go, no matter how much I didn't want it, I couldn't change it.

"I promise you, soldier, and you promise me you'll try everything to return to me, Jaime Fraser."' I put my hands on his cheeks.

Jaime showed a bitter smile. "I promise ye, Sassnech, I'll fight my way back to you even if the soul is all I stand by." He stood up, gave me a kiss on my forehead.

" I love ye." He muttered, then left.

Author : Cece

Jaime, your scottish words are so hard to write. Hope you enjoy it! Any correction would be welcomed! I didn't read outlander first eposide in English so the words might be different.