Synyster Gates And M. Shadows FanFic.

Chapter 1

Brain's Pov

Here I am once again watching Matt from my seat at the bar drowning my self in liquor, drinking the pain away because, yes, I. Brian Elwin Haner Jr also known as Synyster Gates, am in love with Matt Sanders also known as M. Shadows. Of course Matt doesn't feel the same way though, obviously. How do I know this you ask? Well lets take right now for example... A girl is currently grinding up on Matt and he sure as hell looks like he's enjoying it... Well more than enjoying it.

I glared at the girl from my seat at the bar, when out of no where Zacky V came and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Just tell him man, you sitting here glaring at that chick isn't going to do you any good." Zacky said and yes as you now know, Zacky does know how I feel. I told him one day after he found me crying on our tour bus after Matt ditched me for some girl. At first I tried to lie to Zacky, but he saw right through my lie and I was forced to tell him and surprisingly he took it well.

"Zacky you don't understand what if he doesn't feel the same way towards me. I mean I rather have him as best friend than not have him at all." I say still glaring at the girl, who now locked eyes with me. I give the girl another cold glare and causing her to whisper something in Matt's ear. Finally she's walking away from Matt, quickly I might add.

I sigh in relief knowing Matt isn't getting any tonight I mean, yes, that is selfish, but in my eyes if I can't have Matt, then nobody can. "C'mon guys, time to go back to the tour bus." Our security guard says carrying a passed out Johnny Christ in his arms with an angry looking Matt behind him. Zacky and I get up off the bar stools and walk out to the tour bus.

Once we were all on the tour bus, Matt pins me against the wall in the bathroom. "What the hell was that, Brian?" He said yelling in a whisper voice so he wouldn't wake up Johnny. "What was what?" I ask trying to sound confused but failing miserably. "Don't play stupid with me, Haner. You were glaring at my girl the whole night. Then she ditched me giving me some lame ass excuse as to why she had to leave." Matt said and I could smell the alcohol radiating off his breath.

"She... She wasn't right for you. You can do way better than her." I said quietly, and that seemed to clam him down quite a lot making his drunk state pass. "It's fine Bri, you were just looking out for me I understand." He said hugging me his mood changing rather quick. I hugged him back tightly, sighing into his chest. I can only wish that someday I'll be able to call this beautiful man mine.

"I love you bro." Matt said pulling away from the hug so he could walk into the kitchen. The word 'bro' replaying in my mind. I'm like his brother, and that's all I'll ever be to him, his band mate, best friend and 'bro'. "Yeah, I love you too, Matt." I said knowing that I meant it in a completely different way, than what he did.

I stared down at the ground for a few moments before deciding what I needed to so. I pulled the door to the bathroom closed making sure to lock it as well. I removed the bracelets from my wrist, running my fingers over the scars that litter my skin. Yes, I self harm, it's not something I do on a daily basis, but if I have the urge I will stop in the middle of anything to go find a spot where I can cut where no one can find me.

I pulled the wallet out of my back pocket opening it taking out my razor blade that I had broken off from a box cutter. I slid down the bathroom wall pressing the razor down on my skin, dragging it across my wrist, with only one thought running through my mind. Well it wasn't even a thought just a word... 'bro.' I drug the razor across my wrist one more time, before moving to the other wrist.

By the end of the cutting urge I had four fresh cuts, two on each wrist with a particular cut on my left wrist that was bleeding more than the others. I almost always cut on my left wrist so there is a lot more scars their, rather than on the right. I pressed a warm rag on my left wrist trying to make the one cut stop bleeding, then finally after about ten minutes and three rags later, the blood flow stopped. And all the way up to this point I didn't even realize I was crying. I viciously wiped away my tears throwing the rags away in the trash, hiding them under some toilet paper rolls and a shampoo bottle.

"Brian, hurry up I have to piss." Johnny said banging on the door. Oh great he's up. I said sarcastically in my head. I stood up quickly almost falling over, from how light headed I was. I put the razor back into my wallet placing it back safely in my back pocket. I put my bracelets back on wincing slightly, when they ran over the cuts. I unlocked the door, walking out smacking Johnny in the back of the head.

I walked into the dinning area of our tour bus sitting next to Matt. Yeah, we all decided we needed more space on the tour bus so it's rather big... "Hey, Bri." Matt said, not taking his eyes off the movie that was playing on the flat screen hanging from the wall, his drunkeness fully warn off by now. "Not much really." I said pulling my bracelets down more, as a natural reaction. A couple minutes passed, when I got up off the couch. "Well I'm going to sleep now." I said turning around to make my way too my bunk, noticing that Zacky was already passed out on his bunk. I laid down on the mattress taking off my shirt -making sure none of my braceltes came off with it- and passed out within ten minutes.

I was jolted awake by a loud boom of thunder and a huge crack of lightening. Immediately I was afraid. Yes, I'm afraid of storms call me a baby, but I am. I'm not afraid of storms themselves I'm just afraid of the destruction they can cause, ever since I was a kid I've always been afraid that I'd lose everything I love and own to a storm.

I got out of my bunk tip-toeing down the hall to Matt's bunk. I pulled the curtain a little to see if he was asleep and to my surprise he was awake. He even had the light that went over his bunk on, -the light wasn't bright enough to be able to see across the bus, but it was just enough to light up his bunk-.

"Ugh, Matt can I lay with you?" I asked him staring at he floor. "I was hoping that out of all three of us you'd pick me to lay with." Matt smiled lifting up his covers silently giving me an invitation to lay with him. Yes, he knows about my fear of storms all the boys do and surprisingly enough they don't make fun of me for it.

I climbed in Matt's bunk, my heart skipping more than a few beats when he pulled me into his chest. "I won't let anything hurt you." He whispered into my ear... I couldn't help the shiver that ran down my spine. I hesitantly laid my arm on Matt's chest, closing my eyes enjoying the heat radiating off his beautiful body. "Thanks, babe." My body froze after I realized what I had just called the man, after a minute of Matt not saying anything I just figured he didn't hear me, so I relaxed.

Matt's Pov

Brian laid his arm on my chest and I just happened to look down... That's when I seen it. Scars and cuts that were hidden under bracelets on Brian's wrist. To be honest I wouldn't have seen them if his bracelets wouldn't have slid up, but that fact is I did see them and now I won't be able to forget them. Mainly the bigger fresh looking cut on his wrist.

"Thanks, babe." Brain said but I was to busy looking at his wounds to say anything back or react. If I wouldn't have noticed his cuts I would most likely be freaking out by now, because Brian just called me babe. I gently grabbed Brian's hand flipping it over. Brian froze staring up at me in shock his eyes filling with tears. This surprised me because I've never seen Brian cry not even when Rev died. Brian is usually the guy that is strong for everyone even when he's breaking inside. It takes something really personal to make the man cry. I took off his bracelets running my fingers over the fresh cuts and scars.

"Why'd you do this to yourself?" I asked to shocked to say anything else.

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What'd you think? I know Brian and Matt aren't gay in real life (obviously they both are married and Matt even has a child, who is by the way, ADORABLE.) but I just thought that they would make a fucking fantastic couple. I'd kill for them to be together in real life. Please vote and comment your thoughts. Oh and tour bus picture to the side. I couldn't get a good enough picture of the real A7X tour bus so I just posted that one to the right.. :))