Felix: ALEX what do u think of my new cowboy hat :^)
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Alex: thats so ugly what the hell dude
Felix: What in tarnation did you just hollar at me you little cattle rustler? You should know that I'm the best goddamn cowboy from Texas to Tennessee, and I have been involved in countless cattle drives across the midwest, and I have over 300 confirmed wrangles. I am train'd to fire a rattlesnake clean through the eye with my trusty six-shoot from twenny yards off. So do ya feel lucky, partner? I can blow your hat clean off without breaking a sweat, 'ear me buddy. Ya feel so darn safe behind yer new fangled electric telegram contraption. Well, you gotta another thing coming, partner. Right now i'm in cahoots mah secret network of highly skilled bounty hunters so lock up your barn cause there's a storm coming, bucko. The storm tha's gonna level your puny little ranch off the west, the whole fucking caboodle. I can be any point of the map, at any point of my pocket watch. An' I can beat your shit to a pulp o'er 700 ways, and tha's just with mah brawlin' mits. Not only am I prepared for a rootin tootin point an' shootin, but I'm loaded with all kinds of nasty boomsticks and I'll use them to blow your ugly mug off god's good earth, Oh boy kiddo, if only you knew the knee-high cow shit you got your boots into by airin' yer lungs at me. Maybe you coulda thought twice. But you just coul'nt, you just darn di'nt, and now you're gonna have to pay up, you god darn coot. I'll make yer mah privy, boy. So get ready for the shitstorm. You're a walking coffin, partner.
