He saw him there. A tattered brown backpack slung over his shoulder and a math book tucked under his arm, chatting amongst the people surrounding him.
He didn't notice him standing there with an off-white button up tucked into dark blue jean. His shy eyes and tangible lips are something Phillip never thought that he would fantasize about.
"I fucking hate faggots." Tim Connie mumbled, shaking his head at Sebastian, who watched as he walked by, brushing off the comment and keeping his head down. Sebastian once had lots of friends...lots of girls who wanted to be with him...lots of boys who wanted to be him, but that was before a rumor got around about him and Tyler Lexie, not that it was necessarily a rumor.
Tim Connie walked in on Tyler and Sebastian making out in the locker rooms and told everybody that they were gay. Tyler killed himself three days later, after Sebastian had cleared up the rumors by lying and telling everybody that Tyler had kissed him...that he had nothing to do with it. Sebastian crushed the rumors by punching Tyler in the face and calling him a fag...he dropped all of his friends, feeling that he was unworthy to have any, and at the confusion of wether or not he was gay, everybody tried to get through to him, to understand what was going on, but if he was gay, to his friends, that was a problem, and if he was not, and did all of that stuff to Tyler anyways, it wasn't like anybody would want to communicate with him scree wha the did.
Sebastian was rushed to the hospital the day after Tyler committed suicide for taking too many Advil PMs. He was put on an antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication, though he's stopped taking them. When he's on them, he can't write or play music properly.
After Tyler's funeral was when everybody stopped talking to him.
And then Phillip came along. The boy in the foster home, a misfit just like Sebastian. They have been in the same history class since Phillip moved, which was only a few months ago.
Phillip wasn't a misfit for long. After a month of eating alone, he found a group of people to sit with. Phillip and Sebastian had never spoken a word to each other, and over the past few months, Sebastian grew no closer to working up the courage to talk to him.
In class, Sebastian sat in the middle, far left side of the room, as he always did, and Phillip sat in the back with all of his friends.
It was the first time that Phillip had noticed Sebastian. The rain was pounding down onto the tin roof of their large school, distracting Phillip from the lesson . Phillip loved the rain, so he went to peer out the window. He had never had a thought about another male that way before before. It had always just been girls, but this time...this time was different. He was unable to look away. His eyes were fixated on the boy with the dark brown eyes. Phillip pulled out a pad of paper and picked up his pencil. He knew that it would be creepy to take a picture, so sketching the boy seemed like the most logical thing to do.
As if Sebastian knew that he was being watched, he sat still, listening to the rain and thinking of what would happen if he ever did work up the courage to talk to Phillip. He was writing down notes and trying so, very hard to listen, but every words went through one ear and out the other.
Phillip was biting his lip in concentration as he looked between his paper and Sebastian.
"Phillip," Haley whispered, kicking his foot. He folded his arms over the paper and looked up at her.
"What?" He questioned, his eyes switching from the stranger under the window, and back to his friend.
"You're gonna to get caught if you keep daydreaming." She scolded. Phillip shrugged, his eyes falling back down on his paper as his continued to draw.
"Haley," he whispered, looking back up at the strawberry blonde girl.
"What?" She questioned. He nudged his head up towards the boy and furrowed his brow.
"Whose that?" He questioned, a frown on his lips. Haley looked over at Sebastian and a pang of guilt shot through her. She always thought that he looked sad before, but now, she can't find a trace of any emotion on the boy's face, not since Tyler...
"I don't know." She shrugged, continuing to jot down the notes that Mrs. Tegan wrote down. Phillip watched him for a while, paying attention stupid things like how he wrote and the way his chest moved when he breathed.
Stop. He told himself, pulling himself from the trance he was in. I'm not gay, I don't like boys. But there were sudden, heavy doubts about that claim...doubts that Sebastian once had.
