I thought I was doing good with life. Had a hot girl, pleased my self with worldly pleasures and thought I was it. Play my guitar, fix my hair, basically living to impress and please others just so I could feel attention and what i thought was love. I was so angry inside. If you looked at me wrong I would think of you bad, if it wasn't about me or my girlfriend I didn't care. I worried so much about losing what I had with her that I started having anxiety and freaking out and was never really happy, but I would tell my self I was. Better torn apart from inside out, becoming more addicted to my lust and my pains. Every day, wake up get off, and waste my day away keeping my mind away from reality and God cause I thought it wasn't worth it. I prayed, but never really meant it, for I was just asking for my own pleasure. Making it short I was left with a broken heart. Wanting her to die, having dreams of evil, waking up dead inside. Even then I tried to play it cool and act like nothing was wrong cause I still thought I didn't deserve it. Trying Drown out the hurt by drinking and smoking and lust.
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"Lost with out you". — picture of me at the lowest I was
Then I got a text from a friend I was talking to, it said "For give her, as Jesus forgave you"
I went home letting all emotion out, suicidal and ready to die. I was at my bottom and thought this was my life and didn't know where to go. Then I said on my knees with tears falling down my face " Jesus, I need you, save me!" Then and there my eyes opened and I was lifted with a power I have never felt before.
