Good-bye my short lived love.

It was my 23rd birthday, i had worked a 10 hour shift as a therapist. My job wasn't to bad. All i had to do was sit in a chair and listen to people's problems or what was bugging them. I went in to work at 7:00 a.m and left work at 5:00 p.m. It wasn't in my best intrest to go to work on my birthday but I had to support my family somehow. My husband was a musician. He was always on the job. We had money but it wasn't alot yet. We both figured that within a year, I would be making alot of money. So far, i was only making $300.00 a week. My husband Leo and I were expecting our first baby in 7 months. So we had a couple months to figure out how we were going to support ourselves.

My days were always long. Nothing better than a 10 hour shift. Sitting when you're pregnant isn't always a good thing. Everyday I would crave foods and I could'nt leave my paitents to go get my food. I was about 4 months pregnant now and I finally had my Doctors appointment to find out if my baby was a girl or a boy. I left work at 1:00 p.m and Leo met me at my office. I rode with him to the doctor's office. I looked over at my husband and he had the biggest smile on his face. I looked back over at him and he said "Ivy im so excited to be having a baby with you. You compleate me and this baby will make my world. Just like you baby." i smiled and told simply told him, "Leo, I Love You."

It was about twenty minutes later and we were in the parking lot. I was so nervous to go into the doctors. I had a gut wrenching feeling that something was wrong with my baby. My sweet precious baby. I didn't know what was wrong with it, but i could just tell...something was wrong with my little baby. I finally waddled out of the car and up to the Doctor's office and i signed in and the nurse told me to take a seat. I shed a single tear and Leo asked me what was wrong, i simply told him, "Nothing My Love."

The nurse called me back and had me lay on the table. She put the gel on my stomach, which was supprisingly warm, and told me to just stay calm. I was perfectly calm, i just had a lot running through my mind. Helpless thoughts i couldn't control.  You don't really realize how much stuff runs through your head when you lay on the table and the doctor is looking at your precious unborn baby. A couple minutes later, the doctor found out what the baby was. Leo and I were having a baby girl! I was so excited to be having a little girl, I couldn't wait to dress it up in cute adorable clothes and name it a really cute little girl name. The thought of having a little girl made my mind run. I wanted to have a relationship with my little girl like me and my mom did. My mom and I were always so close and had a great connection. I look up to my mom in so many ways. That is what i wanted my little girl to do. Was look up to me.About 3 years ago my mom passed away. She had been battling cancer for 8 years and it was the day before my graduation from college that she passed away. I remember going to my graduation and crying. I almost had to leave. It was the worst day of my life.

The night Leo and I got home from the Doctor's appointmet, we went and visited my dad. My dad lived about a half hour away from me in a little town called Eastover, South Carolina. My dad and I had a very close relationship after my mother passed away. After she passed away, dad and I decided to move from Boston to South Carolina. We all lived in a house in Boston my whole life and we decided that the house we lived in, had to many memories of mom. So we moved to a whole new state, and a whole different house. When we moved to Eastover, South Carolina, I met my husband Leo. Leo and his parents lived in the house across the street from my dad's house. If it wouldn't have been for us moving, I wouldn't have been with my amazing husband now.

My dad was super thirlled that we were having a little girl. My dad, Leo and myself were all sitting around the dinner table at my dads house picking out baby names. It was the best feeling to have my dad around and telling me he loved me. There was not a thing that I wouldn't do for my dad. I love him more than anything in the world. I hoped that this little baby girl i was carrying inside of me would give me a reason to go visit my dad and Leo's parents more often. I wouldn't change a thing about the way I was feeling right now.