Last Shot (Jacob Black) [3] COMPLETE

22. Vodka

~Jazmine~

I rake a hand through my hair and sit up. I grab the bottle and pop the top off. I lean back and take a long sip. I set the bottle on the table and close my eyes.

"I'm not sure that someone who isn't even seventeen yet should be chugging vodka by the bottle." Sean says.

"Shouldn't you be doing something somewhere else?" I open my eyes and give him the I don't give a fuck what you say I'm still going to drink look.

"Well, there's this thing called caring and everyone can hit within an inch of the bullseye if not dead on." He retorts. I take another long drink and set the bottle back down.

"Within an inch don't get you anything when it comes to a heart shot, a head shot you can get away with but there is no within an inch when you have to go at the heart." I state before taking yet another sip. "But I see your point. Take a break for now- everyone. No one goes in the woods. One on one in an hour." He nods and goes back outside. My phone start buzzing and I grab it. Jake's face lights up the screen and I smile slightly. "Hey Jake."

"Hi baby."

"What are you doing?" I take a smaller sip.

"Checking up on you."

"What else?"

"How much have you drank already?"

"I just started my first bottle, and I've only had the equivalent of a glass." I reply taking another sip.

"How long have you been up?"

"About five hours, then they started questioning me about what happened at the school. So I put them to work and waited three hours before I started drinking."

"You realize that it's going to kill you one of these days, right?"

"You realize that I'm really not that bad, right?"

"Jazmine."

"I know, Jacob, but then again you don't know all of it." I look at the bottle and close my eyes.

"Look, I'm not going to do this over the phone. I'll be there as soon as I can, we obviously need to talk."

"Okay."

"Don't drink anymore until I get there, please."

"Okay."

"I love you."

"You too." I open my eyes and hang up the phone. I set it next to the bottle and take a deep breath. I stand up and walk upstairs to my room. I open my closet and bite my lip. Countless memories, countless dreams, countless goodbyes.

"Do you wanna try to get back out there?" Aunt Mo asks sitting beside me on the bed. I look at my feet and shake my head slightly.

"I don't know, part of me does, but I can't focus on being a gymnast if I'm trying to protect everyone." I reply.

"You can't protect everyone, at least let me help you get back up to your old rank."

"Fine, but baby steps."

"Then get ready, you have five minutes." Mo pats my leg before going toward the door. "Use the purple leotard with one sleeve and throw a track suit over it, the one from Regionals."

I force my emotions back and restablize myself. I look over at the outfit Mo had told me to wear that day and raise my chin before taking a breath and closing the closet. I walk downstairs and go out onto the porch.

"One on one let's go!" I order.

"Jaz, it's been half an hour, we still have thirty minutes." Lydia retorts.

"Thirty minutes don't make a damn in my book sweetheart. I said one on one now!" I yell before turning and going back inside. I walk into the kitchen and grip onto the counter. I clench my jaw and close my eyes. I bounce a few times before finally breathing and stepping away. I catch a scent and slightly turn my head. "I don't want to talk right now Jacob."

"What's wrong? You don't just hang up like that."

"I literally just fucking said that I don't want to talk right now." I grip the counter again. I hear the marble crack and clench my jaw.

"Jazmine." It gets louder. "Jazmine stop." My eyes glow and I close them. "Jazmine calm down, what the hell are you doing?" It breaks and I release my hold, the marble falling onto the floor. "What going on with you?"

"Nothing is going on with me Jacob!" I snap.

"Okay then what the hell has gotten into you!?! Why are you like this!?!" I spin around and lean against the broken counter.

"Why am I like this? Do you really wanna know? Do you really want to fucking know why I'm like this? Well let's see- maybe it's because I can't catch a break ever! Maybe it's because I'm only fucking seventeen and barely that! Maybe it's because I'm forced to act like I'm some fucking god who can do anything! Maybe it's because my life has been a living hell! Maybe because it's one thing right after the next and I don't have enough fucking time to catch my damn breath! Maybe it's because I'm still just a fucking kid but I was forced to grow up at a young age! Maybe it's because everything is falling apart! Maybe it's because I'm sick and tired of being lied to all the fucking time! Maybe it's because nobody can fucking think for themselves! Maybe it's because I can't fucking trust anyone anymore! But I don't have a fucking clue." I rant.

"Jazmine, you're starting to get out of control." He says calmly.

"Oh, so you think this is because of the drinking? Well news flash- it's not! I drink because of this! And if you think I'm drunk, think again buddy, I'm not even slightly buzzed yet." I sneer. "I've been drinking since I was twelve Jacob, twelve."

"You're still way out of line. I don't care what your excuse is for it, it needs to stop before you end up dead."

"If I'm dead, I'm dead. I've put up with everyone's shit for too damn long." I shrug.

"Jaz, just take a damn break every once in a while. You can still have emotions without dropping your guard."

"My emotions always end up getting in my way. If I show emotion- my guard drops. That's how it's always been, and I have to keep my guard up otherwise I'm going to have even more bodies to bury."