Tragic Love (an Ashton Irwin fanfic)

Chapter 8: Alone

Brayden's POV:

I continued crying as Ashton walked away, obviously feeling as much pain as I did. If it hurt him so much to leave me, then why would he? How could I let this happen? I have very strong feelings for someone that I've only been on one date with.

Some nurses came in, checking me and making sure everything was ok. They did a couple of exams, gave me some medicine, then told me I was free to go.

I didn't have my car there so I just walked to my dormitory. Lucky for me it was only a couple blocks away. I reached my room and laid my stuff on my bed. I headed to my bathroom to take a shower.

I felt terrible, so alone. I had nobody in my life. No one understands what I go through. I hopped in the shower and turned on the water. I glanced at a couple of razor blades on the side of the tub. I picked one up and just stared at it.

Before I knew it, I had the blade raised to my wrist. I then felt the all too familiar pain of stinging running all over my arm. I started out doing just a few tiny cuts, but then I lost myself. I started making deep cuts all over me. I was going insane. I was hearing voices inside my head calling me things like 'worthless' and 'lonely' and 'unwanted.' I realized I had made about forty cuts all over me, some on my wrist, some on my stomach, and some on my thighs.

I started feeling dizzy and I dropped the blade. I tried to stand up but I fell back in the tub. I had lost so much blood. I then fainted with the water still running.

I woke up to cold water harshly hitting my skin. What had I done? I looked down and saw all of the still fresh cuts on my body. Why did I do this? I knew it wasn't good for me, but it felt so relieving. I needed it.

I somehow managed to drag my self out of the tub, grabbing a towel and trying to stop the furious bleeding. I then saw how deep the cuts really were. They were right by my veins. I could've ended everything right then and there.

I quickly rambled through the cabinets in search for some gauze. I wrapped it tightly around my arm and legs and kept applying pressure on my stomach with the towel.

The bleeding finally stopped about ten minutes later. I got off of the floor and opened the door to my room. Luckily, my roommate wasn't here yet. I wouldn't want her to see the mess that I really am.

I threw some comfortable clothes on an sat in my room. I reached for my phone and logged into my twitter. This was the only place that I could express my deepest feelings. I barely had any followers, but I didn't care. I wasn't doing this for them, this was for me, to get rid of my pain. I wrote a couple things on there saying I'm ugly, fat, unloved, and that I'll never amount to anything. I am just a very depressed girl.

I soon crawled into my bed and fell asleep. It was already very late and I had classes in the morning. Ugh, I wish I didn't have to go.

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A/N: Okay I don't really have anything to write for this but I didn't wanna not put an authors note so here I am! Can you guys leave me some feedback and let me know how I'm doing and if you like it? It would mean a lot.

AshtonIsMyAussie x