I Just Want To Feel You || DISCONTINUED

Chapter 1

My eyes fluttered open as I heard my alarm go off. I laid there staring at the ceiling, not even bothering to hit snooze on the damn thing. I sighed and slowly pushed aside my covers, wincing as they brushed against my exposed flesh.

My eyes gazed at my slightly opened cuts, 'Fuck, I thought they would've closed up by now'. I glared at my arm and lightly touched it.

I was interrupted by loud banging on my door. I turned and immediately grabbed a jacket nearby, putting it on. I walked to the door and opened it to find a bitch standing there, looking down at me.

"Ciel, you're going to be late if you don't hurry the hell up, I'm not dropping you off, you..." my aunt, Angelina, continued talking, but do you honestly think I was actually listening to her? Much less, cared?

I pushed past her and went straight to the restroom. Looking into the mirror, I saw nothing but a disgusting little boy who couldn't even do anything to help himself.

I grit my teeth and clenched my fists as I looked down. Why am I here? Why haven't I killed myself yet?

In my line of sight, I saw the drawer which contained the one little thing that could save me. The one thing that could end my suffering. I would no longer get in people's way. I just wanted to be with my family again. Even though I hated them, I still loved them.

I opened the drawer and pulled out the unopened packet of razors, leaving it on the bathroom counter as I undressed to shower.

I stepped in, drawing the curtains closed. I turned the knob fully on to the cold water. I watched as the water made its way to my cuts, leaving a sensation of numbness. Blood began seeping out of the small lacerations in my skin. It stung, but this pain wasn't as worse than how I felt being alive.

I ran my hands through my hair and rested my forehead against the shower walls, letting the water run down my skin as I was left to my dark thoughts.

Why me? Why me?! WHY ME?! GOD DAMN IT!

I started punching the wall with all of my strength. The pain didn't stop me, neither did my sore knuckles. I silently cried and fell on my knees onto the cold shower floor.

After a while, I sobered and got up. I slid open the curtains and stepped out, turning to the mirror once again.

I'm hideous. Ugly. Revolting. A mistake.

My bottom lip began quivering as I reached for my toothbrush and toothpaste.

Not now, I'm already late.

I quickly brushed my teeth and ran out the bathroom, bare naked, to my room. I shut the door and I quickly got changed.

Late, late, LATE.

Even though I was a depressed piece of shit that no one loves, I still cared about my education. I had no one to care for, since they were all assholes. The only people I cared for were dead. My family. My parents. Gone. They were gone. I would give so much to just see them; Perhaps even my life.

I grabbed my bag and ran out of my room to the front the door. On the way there, I grabbed the first thing in the fruit basket. A banana.

As I shoved the fruit into my mouth, I turned the knob and ran toward my car, hitting the house door shut on the way there. I reached into my pocket to grab my keys, only to realize that they weren't there. I snapped my head toward the house door. It was already shut.

Bloody Hell!

I walked over to the front steps and reluctantly turned the knob.

LOCKED!?