Until My Death t.m.

Until My Death

Toby's P.O.V.

"What took you guys so long?" Connor asked as we stepped through the front door. "And Toby, why weren't you answering your phone?"

"I turned my phone off while I was talking to my friend. Sorry," I said and walked into the other room. Riley followed after me.

"Toby you have to stop hanging out with her. I understand that you like her but for now this is the best," he told me.

"Fine. Let me be sad instead of Connor," I said and walked to my room. I laid down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. I started thinking to myself.

'I understand why Riley doesn't want Connor to see the girl, but I feel like my happiness should have to be in the way of Connor's. Why would Connor even cut again anyway? What would he feel cutting again?'

I looked at my wrist and look back up.

'No. That's not even an option. You saw how much it hurt Riley to see Connor hurt. And I know for a fact that it was the scariest thing in the world to see him hurt. I can't do that. No.'

I looked down again.

'Maybe if Riley sees how sad this is making me he'll let me hang out with Cecilia. After all the chance of Connor cutting is the reason I can't be with her, so if I cut because I'm not with her, he'll have to let me.'

I get up and go to the bathroom, but make sure that I don't lock the door behind me so that they can't get to me, after all I don't actually want to die. I pull out a razor and take a deep breath before pressing it to my wrist.

It stung. Bad. But I kept going. Blood was pouring out of my arm and was dripping into the sink. After a few deep cuts I stopped and looked at my arm.

"What the fuck have I done" I whispered and fell to the floor of the bathroom, barely conscious.

"What was that?" I heard Riley say from out in the living room.

"It came from the bathroom," Connor said. "It must've been Toby."

Riley ran over to open the door to see me lying on the floor, about to pass out.

"Toby!" Riley yelled. "Connor call an ambulance!" Connor quickly got out his phone and dialed 911. "Toby stay with me alright. It's gonna be ok."

"I'm so sorry," I managed to choke out before I passed out.

Connor's P.O.V.

"Shiiiiiit Connor are they coming?!" Riley asked me.

"Yeah they're on their way," I said.

'Is this what Riley and Toby felt when I cut?' This got me thinking a lot about some of the choices I'd made. Seeing my family hurting hurt me more than ever. I can't imagine ever doing that to them, but yet I have.

"Connor could you hand me a towel to slow down the bleeding," Riley said.

I grabbed a towel from off the rack and handed it to Riley. He put it on Toby's arm and held it there.

"I'm gonna go outside and wait for the ambulance," I said and went outside. The ambulance arrived shortly afterwards and I led them into the house. They placed Toby on the stretcher and took him to the ER. I called my mom to tell her what happened while Riley drove us and followed the ambulance.

I couldn't help but feel like this was my fault. I've been a bad impression on Toby. I'm supposed to be his older brother, someone he can look up to for an example but I haven't been. No wonder he's done this. I need to be there for my little brother.

I suddenly thought of Riley. He is probably devastated. First his older brother, now his younger brother. I can't even imagine what he is going through. These past couple of years he's had to grow up so fast in order to take care of me and be an older brother for Toby. I'm supposed to be the one taking care of them, not him. This isn't how this was supposed to turn out.

A/n~ IM SORRY THAT ITS SHORT (that's what he said) AND THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN 965457 YEARS