There and Back Again {On Hold}

depression hurts.

Karkat's POV:

I was blankly staring at the wall when I noticed sun creeping through the window.
Looks like I didn't get any sleep at all. I put my head in the pillow.
This is not how its supposed to be.. I'm supposed to have a better life when I get adopted not this huge wave of what the fuck is wrong with me?!

I hear a knock at my door. "Karkat? It's mr Egbert...I came to tell you breakfast is ready."
I didn't respond.
"Do you want me to bring your breakfast up here?" He asked.
I still didn't respond.
"Alright... Ill leave you alone..." I heard him walk away.
I really didn't want to talk to anyone right now...not even dave..

John's POV:

Me, dave and dad were sitting at the table. No karkat. Dad said to just give him time...I understand he needs time to get over this but..he could at least talk to us...

I tried my luck with him after breakfast.
I walked up and knocked on his door. "Karkat?"
He didn't respond.
"I hope you know..I'm hear for you..." I said through the door.
I still didn't get a reaction from him. 
"Please talk to me.." I whispered to myself.

I walked across the hall to my room and for the first time, I shut it.

Karkat's POV:

john had tried to talk to me but I didn't respond to him. I didn't want to talk to him...I didn't wanna talk to anyone... I also had jade and rose pestering me. GOD WONT ANYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!

I stuffed my head into the pillow.

I heard another ping come from my phone. Why anyone take the hint to leave me alone?

~tentacleTherapist began pestering carcinoGeneticist~

TT: karkat? I know I'm probably invading your personal bubble at the moment but I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loss.

TT: I know not of what its like to loose your family so I am completely baffled of what to tell you.

TT: all I know to tell you is that it will be ok. No matter how hard it gets it will always get better.

TT: just remember that we love you karkat and we are here for you if and when you need us.

~tentacleTherapist ceaced pestering carcinoGeneticist~

I smiled a bit. Rose always knows how to make someone feel better. 
My smile fell. Well...that felt good while it lasted...
I decided to text her back.

~carcinoGeneticist began pestering tentacleTherapist~

CG: HEY...THANKS ROSE...I NEEDED THAT.

TT: no problem, I'm always happy to help.

CG: BUT IT STILL DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT MY ENIRE FAMILY IS DEAD NOW..

TT: don't worry karkat, you have john and mr Egbert of course.

CG: I GUESS THATS TRUE..

TT: anyway I believe my mother wants me to help her cook. I'll talk to you later karkat.

~tentacleTherapist ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist~

I put my phone down and looked at the time on the alarm clock I left I n the side table.
11:23.
Are you kidding?! Its not even noon yet...this is gonna be a long day..

Dave's POV: *2 hours later*

"Damn it john! Why can't you just leave him alone?!" I yelled at my best friend as he walked up the stairs.
"He tells me everything dave!" He yells back at me.
"He's going through something you can't understand! Just back off! If he doesn't wanna talk then you can't make him!"
I followed him.

I pushed him into his room and shut the door before he could speak a word to karkat.
"Dave what the hell?!" He yelled.
"You are gonna leave KitKat alone! He doesn't need to be dealing with the extra stress of talking to his friends when he obviously doesn't want to!" I said rather hurtful.
"He more then my friend dave he my-"
I cut him off.
"Yeah he's your brother! I get it! Now please shut your fucking mouth!" I screamed.
"Dave...what's wrong with you...you aren't acting like yourself.." He whispered.
"I..I'm sorry..I guess I'm just worried about him...you know I've been through this before.." I felt tears sting my eyes at the memory.

John hugged me. "I know...I should probably listen to you...you know more about this then I do.."
I felt tears roll down my face. "I...just don't want him to do what I did..." I sobbed.
John hugged me tighter. "I know...me neither."
"I can't loose him john...I..I l-love him! He's my entire world! He's all I think about!" I sobbed even harder.

I calmed down after a bit and cursed myself for breaking down in front of john.

Me and john decided on watching a movie.
But I really wasn't paying attention to it. I was thinking about karkat.

I really hope he doesn't do what I did after my mom died.
I would never forgive myself if he did that...

I really only know one thing about this.

Depression hurts...