As she sat there on her front porch of her home, staring at the empty street, she could hear their playful shouting from the back. Despite all the thoughts storming around in her head she smiled. She could tell by just the way they were shouting and laughing, that they were playing soccer. Her smile became wider as she stood up and headed to the backside. Her brother was tackling Eric. As soon as Eric fell down her brother laughed and kicked the ball at her.
Without thinking about it, she tackled the ball. She started dribbling it towards her brother, with the thought that she missed doing this so much.
Her brother, who was wearing a shocked expression, was running at her and trying to take the ball away from her. She dribbled it past him.
He was fast and good.
But she was faster and better despite the fact that she hadn't played in two years.
She laughed as she kicked the ball into the goal. Letting out a big whoop, she lunged at her brother who caught her laughing.
"Wow Sophie. I didn't know you could play?!" Eric said standing up. Although that was all what he said, she could tell from his expression that he didn't think she could do anything aside from make up.
As she stared up at him, she couldn't help but think about everything that he was missing out on. Everything that he didn't know.
When it comes to new change, a new start comes along the way as well. You might not be pleased with the idea that you're going to ditch everything behind you, but for her it was different.
She left everything behind and settled in with something that was far from the things she had and was and became a new version of what she wanted to be. But somehow, everyone around her weren't satisfied with what she had become. And she became doubtful. But then, he came.
He like the new her, but not who she truly is, but for what he sees in the image of what she wanted to be now. So would she ditch who she is now for him knowing he admired the version of her that was far from what she truly is, or go back to the person who she really was knowing many would wait for the change she wanted to vanish within her thoughts.
She sighed. There couldn't be anyways that she could let him know her true self. The self she despised so bad. How could he stay and accept her after knowing that her true self was the reason that she was.........
" Sophie. Hey I gotta go." Eric said looking at his phone and back at her. "I'll see you later. K?"
She smiled in response as he kissed her goodbye and walked away. He was a godsend. He was so handsome and sweet and she couldn't help but wonder how he ended up with her.
"Sophie"
She teared her eyes away from his disappearing back and turned to see her brother sighing. She knew what was coming and she didn't want to hear it.
"Hear me out Sophie please." Josh said tenderly, with pleading eyes before she could say anything. " you don't need to change yourself for Eric to love you. What happened has happened. I'm not say that what happened was right or it should have happened. It shouldn't have. But it did. And there is nothing we can do about it. Its been so long since that. Isn't it time to let go? I get that changing yourself into this..... this person makes you feel good but it really don't helpful. You need to see that."
He ended his rant in a sigh and her in a shock. Before she could even think.of something to say her brother engulfed her in one of his rare hugs.
"Every experience has an effect on the person Sophie. You don't need to change your whole self for the experience to shape you. Your shown is how strong you are. It has toughened you. But in that process you lost yourself and that's not good. You forgot how to have fun and laugh and smile."
Josh stepped back and walked away, leaving her to her own thoughts. Walking into her bedroom she sat on her bed and thought about what her brother said. She looked in the mirror Staring back at her was a girl who didn't know how to smile but still pretended like everything was fine.
She wakes to her closet and yanked the door open. She bent down and took her sweats and an oversized t shirt form the box in the bottom.of the closet.
Changing into them and willing her face off make up, she felt good. She didn't think she could do this. But she had. And it felt so comfortable.
As she headed out to the kitchen she saw josh sitting on the sofa. The smile on his face didn't go unnoticed by her, but she decided to ignore it.
As she took the ice cream and nutella jar, she kept asking herself the same questions.
Could she do it? Go back to her old self? The sarcastic yet, naive girl that everyone used to push around? But then, she wasn't like that anymore.
Maybe josh was right.
She took her phone in her. Staring at it she wondered if it was the best thing to do. But before she could think twice about it she had dialled the number. She had to do it. Eric deserved to know the truth. And if the ugly truth makes a difference for him than he doesn't really love her does he?
The thought wasn't nice. But she knew she was doing the right thing. And she wasn't backing down.
"Eric can you come over. I... we need to talk.... yeah it's important. Yeah see you in 5"
She started at the bland ceiling as she waited for Eric. Her heart was racing. Was she really going to do it? She knew Eric would never be interested in her true self. But she still loved him. How difficult was this going to be for her? And him?
"Wow. Never thought I'd see you like this. What's wrong Sophie?" Eric asked as he sat in front of me, while holding my hand.
"I need you to listen to me. I'm gonna tell you something. Please don't freak out and hear me out until the end okay?"
As she looked into his eyes, she knew she had to do it. With a sigh, she began her story. Something that she never wanted to replay again, something she wouldn't wish even on her worst enemy.
"I used to love playing soccer. Back in high school I used to play all the time. I was good. I dated the most popular guy back then and I got a chance to play on the same team with all the schools hot guys since there wasn't a girls.team separately. He was in the same team with me as well. That also meant I was a target for a lot people's envy. I'll have you know Eric, I was a witty girl. What with my sarcastic comebacks and what not. But I was naive and that was my downfall."
But by then she was crying. She could see the worry in his eyes. But she knew it would be replaced with something else soon.
"No matter how cruel they were. I always forgave. Always trying to find the nonexistent goodness in them. I guess that's why I got pushed around so much. I still remember it clearly. 2 years ago before you moved here, it was the senior year, coach gave me the captaincy of the team. It didn't sit well with anyone. Especially my ex boyfriend. I was so happy I didn't care what they thought. I couldn't wait to get home and tell everyone about it. But... I never got that far Eric. I never got to tell anyone about it. And the next day..... I resigned."
She wiped her tears as she felt his gaze burning at the side of head.
"Why?" He asked, voice hoarse with curiosity and..... dread.
She looked up into his dark eyes. Her clear blue eyes filled with tears, clashing with his dark ones with flecks of hazel in them.
I couldn't be on the team any more. That day.... I-I..I.... on my way h-home.... I...I was beaten up."
She held his gaze as she said the words that might rip their future with each other.
"I was raped and beaten up by.my own team mates, led by my ex boyfriend."
