Prisoner

Another hand swung fiercely at my head. I didn't bother ducking, knowing full well the consequences the mere action would cause. Instead, I bit my tongue as the sting of his punch reverberated throughout my body and collapsed onto the dirt ground.

"Abschluss der Reinigung diese Scheiße (Finish cleaning this shit)," he yelled in his harsh German.

I bowed my head, kneeling before the soldier in command. After he turned and marched away, cursing me beneath his breath, I sighed. My progress over the past week had been harsh but rewarding as my plan was moving forward.

Standing, I took a hold of the broom and began to sweep the trash that the Germans had left by the tall, sharp-wired fence locking me in this Hell; keeping me from my freedom and happiness. My hands screamed as my blisters pulsed in irate.

I stopped sweeping for a minute, giving myself a small break as no one was around. I observed the fence that I despised more than the Germans that struck me, more than the cells that held me. It shone brightly, boasting the slight blood stains decorating some areas.

Slowly, without my consent, my feet began to move towards the fence. A low hum came from it as the voltage coursed through its veins. If I reached out, brushing the metal with the edge of my bloodied finger, everything would be over. I'd be able to have my freedom, my happiness, my life.

Suddenly a girl stood from her spot in the tall weeds on the other side of the fence, startling me away from the fence. Her white dress billowed in the wind, carrying her blonde hair along with it. A white sun-hat with a soft pink ribbon concealed her eyes but her full, heart-shaped lips were taught in discomfort.

She lifted her hand, grabbing a hold of her hat before it flew into the blazing blue sky. Then, as the wind died down, she finally turned her head and gazed at me with solemn, azure eyes. Her petite nose crinkled as I gawked at her beauty and open emotions.

The girl took off her white gloves, refusing to meet my gaze once again. I subconsciously took a step forward. She responded by fixing her expression and staring at me.

I froze as our eyes connected, her reprimanding gaze coursing through me. She wasn't uncomfortable despite my sullied rags and uncombed brown hair that I had tied into a pony tail. This girl was mad that I had almost killed myself.

For a minute, I stared at her, silently thanking her for saving me. Then, I smiled. My cheeks felt rusted as my face preformed the unfamiliar act but nonetheless I graced this girl with my rare, dull smile. Her eyes widened, displaying her shock at my apparent happiness. She recovered and flashed me the smile of an angel.

"Ausgangssperre (Curfew)!" a German yelled over the intercom.

I turned back to the girl, not ready to say goodbye. But she was already gone, her back vanishing into the dense woods. She took my happiness and feeling of freedom with her. I instantly felt hollow, my insides churning as I began to walk back to my cell.

Rounding the corner I found Redrewd being beaten by a German soldier. Without a single thought in my head, I dropped the broom and rushed in front of my younger brother, receiving the blows meant for him.

Redrewd was silent as usual while I grunted as the guard wiped me with his staff and kicked me. After several minutes, he spit on me and walked away, brandishing his staff at the people who had dared to stand and watch.

I lifted myself from the ground, wincing in pain as I felt the damage done by the single man. Then, I turned to Redrewd, blood dripping down my face and soaking my pajamas. He was crying but his face remained shocked.

"It's okay," I murmured, pulling him into my broken chest.

Redrewd sobbed into me as I carried him to our cell. He whispered, "Thank you, thank you, thank you," and, "I'm alive, I'm alive."

Just outside of our cell, I collapsed, not being able to carry both of our weights. "Redrewd," I called out weakly. "Get inside before they come."

My brother looked at me. His emerald eyes, much like my own, shifted from to me the cell. Without a second thought, he abandoned me in the hall and crammed into our cell that held another thirteen people. Even though Redrewd had been like this ever since we had gotten here, it still broke my heart when he showcased his indifference towards me. All he cared about was surviving; he had long since forgotten about me.

But I could never forget about Redrewd. I had promised to Mother and Caseline as they were ushered to the gas room that I would take care of him. Now, as he continued to betray me and put my name in the Blackbook more and more, I still cared for him over myself. But it wasn't because I loved him, it was because I loved myself. I loved myself enough to sacrifice everything so that soon, my name would be crossed off the Blackbook and put into the Gasbook.

Thankfully, one of my cellmates took pity on me and hauled me in. Another cellmate, our secret doctor, cleaned my wounds with the little water I was given for dinner. Redrewd stayed where he was, watching nothing and eventually falling asleep.

"You're a coward," the doctor said in disgust. "Suicide is the easy way out; fight with us."

I stared at him blankly. "I won't be missed; not by you, the Germans or Redrewd." I curled onto my side, watching as my brother's chest rose and fell. "I'm doing this for myself; I can't stand this prison any more."

The doctor pushed his bread over to me. I greedily ate it, almost crying in joy as it fell into my empty stomach.

"What about Redrewd?" he asked. "He's so reliant on you; as soon as you're gone, he'll die."

I rolled onto my back to stare at him. "Do you really think I care?"

The doctor looked shocked for a minute, but then he understood. My suicidal plan was to make it look like the Germans choice. If I were to commit suicide without their consent, they'd go on a rampage. So, by taking Redrewd's beatings and continuously interfering, I was getting higher up in the Blackbook. Then when I finally was at the top, they'd move me to the Gasbook. It'd only take a matter of days before I was asked to take a shower. It'd only take a matter of days for me to have my freedom and desired happiness.

Suddenly, the girl from before flashed through my head. Her reprimanding gaze and taught lips all fresh in my mind. I wondered, even though we had just met, if she would miss me...

No, I'd most likely never see her again. Even so, I sat up, ignoring all the groaning cries of agony from the skeletons around me, and began to write on a bandage the doctor had wrapped around me using a small piece of granite. I wrote to the girl who I'd never see again. I wrote to the girl who had given me a taste of my old life that I had foolishly relished in.

My name is Centric. I'm a horrible person who disgusts even myself, but I like to think that deep down, I do care for everyone. That's why I'm not making an uproar about my foretold death and allowing the Germans to take care of me. Because I did this by myself then the security in the prison would be raised a lot and everyone would suffer more.

But that's aside from the point. You saved me from making that mistake today. For that, I am eternally grateful. You also made me realize just a sliver of my muddle emotions. Even thought it's just a sliver, it's more than I've been able to do over the past three years.

I stopped as I worked my tongue over my dry lips. I've decided, I wrote, that you are my guardian angel. Please continue to watch over me.

A tear fell from my face as I wrapped the bandage into an airplane and tucked it into my pant's waistband. Tomorrow, I'd throw it over the fence and maybe, just maybe, she'd come back and find it.

Maybe, just maybe, I could taste my freedom and happiness again.