Sweet Disposition (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 16

I could hear hushed voices speaking around me, but I couldn't identify who they belonged to.

My head was pounding, but other than that I wasn't in any pain. I opened my eyes slowly, drinking in my surroundings.

The lights were off but I almost immediately recognized the room I was in and the boy talking on the phone a few feet from the bed.

"Yeah, I-I'm so sorry." He sniffed and my brow furrowed.

"Harry?" I rasped.

He spun around and his eyes widened when he saw me. It was plainly obvious that he had been crying. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were bloodshot.

He said something into his phone that I didn't catch, but he shoved it into his pocket and sat beside me on his bed.

"How are you feeling?" He smiled, but it was forced.

"My head hurts a bit, but I'm fine."

He nodded slowly then looked down at the floor. I waited for him to say something, but he sat silently.

After a few minutes had passed I took his hand and laced our fingers together giving it a gentle squeeze. I could tell something was wrong. He was acting weirder than normal.

"Why were you crying earlier? Who was on the phone?" I asked softly.

He closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath.

"This is my fault."

"What is?"

"I-I was in a hurry this morning and I for-forgot to check the horses' feet and Snowy had l-lost a shoe and that's why h-he threw you off." A tear rolled down his cheek.

I was about to tell him off for being so careless, but he faced me with a look so sad I felt like all the happiness has been sucked from the earth at once.

"I'm so sorry Louis. I-I, You need to stay away from me. I always h-hurt people."

My face fell further and I fought back the urge to yell and pulled him into a hug instead.

"You're not mad?" He sniffled.

"Of course I am, but not at you. Snowy on the other hand..."

He didn't even smile, not even a little.

"Harry, this wasn't entirely your fault."

"It is. I'm bad luck or something. Everything and everyone I've ever cared about goes away one way or another. And it's always my fault!"

I could see his walls crumbling and for once I was scared of what I was going to see.

"Harry, that's not true." I touched his arm softly. "I'm still here."

"You could have been killed! Or paralyzed or any other terrible thing could have happened to you all because of me! And don't you dare say it's not true!" He wiggled out of my grasp. "I pushed Liam away, and now I put you in danger."

Then he stopped. He stopped moving, he stopped talking, and he stopped breathing. It was like everything was frozen except for me.

"That night," it was so quiet I almost didn't catch it. "We were on our way to the vet because Missy was acting funny. My mum said she was fine, but I insisted we get her checked just in case. I didn’t want to take her into that show if she wasn’t well.” He closed his eyes, most likely trying to gather his thoughts.

I could only sit there motionless. He was finally opening up to me.

“Gemma was mad she had to go and I-I started fighting with her, not physically, but- anyways, My mum turned around to make us stop and she didn’t see the light change.” He shuddered and I felt physical pain at the look on his face.