Prepaired

Intro

 

I can now accept that the only point in my life where I felt the most, saw the most, messed up the most, and broke the most, was when I didn't know anything at all. Having these expectations, these thoughts on how life was and how happiness should be, is what gets us all.

The emotion of happiness was overplayed so badly by society that it gives us all false hope that there is a prince charming, that happiness is only caused by other people, that we can't control our feelings unless we have someone beside us and we are in love. I can now accept that happiness is not caused by someone other than me.

Being happy is the knowledge that you accomplished something you never knew you would. Being happy is finding yourself when you thought you were lost. Being happy is living your life to the fullest, to reach what other people said you could never reach, to be able to wake up and find yourself smiling cause you are able to be here; alive, breathing, living proof that you are able to do it alone. Love is just another thing people pop into our heads at a young age, it's imaginary. The feeling of love isn't those butterflies you get, it isn't having trust in someone, it's not what you are told what it is. Love is personified as the feeling of safety and happiness. Love isn't even a thing, an object, a thing you are able to hold. It's a feeling people believe they are able to handle. They aren't. I can now accept, and believe, that love is not something you need to survive.