The Giant Man Made Egg Statue

In the small but picturesque village of Trousers there stood a giant man made egg statue. The statue was built many centuries ago, due to this nobody knew of the exact origins of it, but the mysterious and beautiful statue stood right in the heart of the village, on the green. It was good luck to touch the statue every year on the second Sunday of October according village folk law. So each year the people of the village would take turns to touch the egg in order to bring them good luck for the twelve months ahead. Whether the egg actually brought good luck however, nobody knew. But the villagers did it anyway, year after year, generation after generation, it was a tradition, a pointless one, but a tradition none the less.

One very special year, on a very special second Sunday of October, the villagers like normal, were all lining up to touch the egg, just like every year before. But on this occasion however, a special thing happened. When the Umbrella family went to touch the egg, it suddenly came to life. Yes, the egg came to life! A mouth emerged from the lower part of the rock solid statue and soon after, two eyes emerged from the concrete. The villagers gathered and watched on in astonishment, as the egg spoke its first ever words to the people:

"Hello, people of Trousers. I am the giant man made egg statue which has been ruling and controlling this village for centuries, you just haven't known it. This year is the last year of my reign, as I am old and will die, so I decided to finally come to life. Over the next few weeks, which will be the weeks leading up to my death, I shall bring every family in the village more luck than you could ever imagine." Shouted the giant man made egg statue across the green.

The crowd cheered, the village children all ran towards the egg to hug it, but before they could reach it, the egg shot up into the sky, and spent the next few hours flying over the village, banishing all evil, roaming the skies and protecting the people. The villagers carried on celebrating into the night, there were barbecues, picnics, alcohol and even a small amount of drugs which some rebellious youths were using in the village wood, the villagers could not believe what was happening and felt the only right thing to do was to celebrate.

The following day, the giant man made egg statue began carrying out its promise to the village people. The Davis family got five numbers in the lottery bringing in a cool three thousand pounds. The Jenkins family won a small fortune on a scratchcard, something which they had not managed to do in years. And the landlord of the village pub found a pot of gold when he finally gained access to his cellar which he only recently discovered was there. Similar things happened to pretty much all of the village people as well, and everyone was feeling good about themselves. More celebrations began in the evening, the egg was still roaming the skies, protecting the people. Drugs were also still being used in the village wood by some rebellious youths, who tonight were joined by the village priest who it seems had found faith in another God, and had to blow off some steam by taking some hardcore drugs.

A new day then began, and there was, as promised by the giant man made egg statue, more luck for the village people than ever before. A child found a bag full of money whilst bike riding in the woods. An elderly lady was given a free sofa by mistake by DFS. And the Thompson family were given a free pizza as their order took longer than half an hour. The same sort of thing was happening throughout the village to the whole population. The village people spent another night celebrating because of this, and tonight began to worship the giant egg, which was still roaming the skies, bringing luck to the village people. The rebellious youths, the local priest and now the post office lady were taking drugs in the village wood as well. The whole village was on a high, the villagers in the wood however were even higher, as they took more drugs than what was deemed possible without dying.

However, the next day was a dark and horrible one for the village people, unlike the previous three since the egg came to life. The sun had risen, so a new day had begun and the village people awoke and went on with their daily routine. However the people began noticing that some of the village population had dissapeared overnight. Yes, people just vanishing from their houses, leaving no note or anything. Throughout the morning, more and more people vanished into thin air as the village tried to get to grips with what was happening and go on about their daily routine. David, the local butcher vanished suddenly in the middle of the village square. Chas, the local baker vanished whilst reading the paper on the old bench next to the police station. Stacey, the local journalist vanished whilst in the post office buying some birthday cards for her mother and sister and law. And the rebellious youths, the priest and the post office lady had all vanished from the village wood, leaving behind some drugs which lay on the muddy ground. By noon, over half of the village population had vanished into thin air. The remaining village people shouted up to the egg for answers and wisdom, but the egg ignored them and carried on roaming the skies. 

As night fell, the village people did not party like they had done on previous nights, many instead decided to look for their loved ones, but it was no use, they were no where to be seen. The remaining village people were becoming restless, before finally, the giant man made egg statue spoke to the people from the sky above.

"I took the village people, but fear not my friends, they are safe." Said the egg statue from above.

"Give them back." Shouted one villager in despair.

"You are so evil, I hope you die." Shouted another.

"You have done us good, but right now everyone just thinks you're an evil doughnut trolly face, now give us our friends and families back NOW!" Screamed the butcher's wife as the village roared in agreement.

This abuse from the people below angered the egg a lot, so he decided to eat all the remaining villagers. Yes, every single one until the village was empty and void of people. Everyone had gone, not one living human being for miles.

"That's better." Mumbled the giant man made egg statue to him self, as he flew into the distance, ready to die a peaceful death. 

So, the moral of the story is, never trust an aligator with racist opinions. 

The end.