A memory

Where did it all go wrong?

It would be about 2 years now when it all happened. I still miss him. I still can't stop thinking about him. All I want to do is to have a second chance with him. I can't understand why. I can't explain this feeling I have towards him. I think I am still deeply in love with him. I am just here sitting in the corner writing this. Writing the things I should have told him. Writing all the feelings I should have showed him. I want to know why. I am not sure what I really feel about him at this moment but all I can think about is that day. If I just knew at that point I shouldn't had come. But it is now too late for that. All I can do now is regret about it. What if, what if I could go back? Do you think things should have been a little different? Do you think he and I would be together by then? All I want is a second chance but I know that second chance I want is the second chance I might never get. In the end, I might just be here being hopeless on the things I should have just made right in the first place.

As she was about to finish writing Kath heard her aunt yelling, "Kath, come downstairs let's eat dinner."

She then put her diary where it is hidden from anyone without finishing her thought. As she is walking down the stairs she felt this strange thing that she couldn't explain. She knows at that exact moment that something is not right. She felt something bad but doesn't know why.

Ring ring ring ring.
  "Hello, Jean is speaking how may I help you?"
Guy on the other line say's, "May I speak to Kath this is a matter of life and death. It is about Jack I just want to let her know that he is in the emergency room right now and she is the only person who's in his emergency contact. Can you tell her to come down to California Medical Center?"

Without any doubt Kath run back up to her room as fast as she could to grab her keys. On the way to the hospital Kath can't stop herself from bursting into tears. She kept on asking herself where could have everything gone so wrong. She thinks its all her fault even for what is happening to Jack right now. Her and Jack would have been married this coming month.

"This should have never happened. I would never forgive my self if something terrible happens to him. I love him with all my heart." Kath says in the car while all of this flashback memories is coming back to her.

On the way to the hospital she remembered something, something that Jack was always telling her when ever she is scared. She just have to think that tomorrow would be a better place and Jack will be there for her to support her and help her get over with the tragic accident that happened long ago. That particular memory made her feel a little comfortable about it because ever since they were little Jack was always right and he never left her side so she thought that Jack would never leave her like this. Not after what happened between them.

As she approached one of the nurse she asked, "Do you know where can I find Jack Daniel Smith?" The nurse then answered, "Jack Daniel Smith is in the emergency room right now." While asking, "What happened to him?" Kath can't stop herself from crying. The nurse then told her that he had been in a car accident. The crash killed both of the passengers of the other vehicle and Jack's life is at risk.

After hours of hours of crying and waiting for the result the doctor finally came out and let her in. They told her that he had a major head injuries and broke some bones. Kath can't still believe about what happen. All she could think about is she never want to lose him. He is the closest thing of a family she has.

There he is lying down helplessly and she couldn't do anything about it but to cry. She knows that she needs to be strong for him. She needs to be strong for the both of them. At this moment she has a bunch of questions that she had been wanting to ask him but doesn't want to ask him because she is now as happy as ever finding out that he is alive. She thought that there is always another day to ask him. All she could think about is him being safe after what had happen.

Moments later it hit her.

"What would I do? What should I do? I know we are not together any more. I don't know how would I approach him. I don't know where to start. I have this huge list to tell him but all I can think about is to tell him how much I still love and care about him. I'm so confused now aunt Jean. Why did this all happen?" Kath is bursting to tears while talking to her aunt Jean.

Jean then told her everything is going to be okay. She also told her to just tell him what her heart wants to say. She then told her she would go and talk to his doctors.

As Kath is entering his room all she could feel is this desire to tell him how much he miss him and how she had been wanting to hug him. Before she could even get close to him Jack woke up and asked her, "Who are you?". In shock Kath couldn't stop herself from crying. And thought what is she really to him. She can't tell him that she is his girlfriend because she clearly not anymore. She can't tell him she is his ex fiancé. She doesn't want to shock him and make him just feel bad about her. All she is left to say is that they were best friends ever since they were little kids.

Scared of what might happen Kath run out not knowing where to go and what to do. She doesn't know what to tell him because even hearing from his thought that now she is just his ex fiancé nothing more is breaking her to pieces. She thought she is strong enough to face him again despite of what had happen between the both of them. She is just relief that he is well safe and alive but the fact that there might never get to be a chance with them to be the way it is to be is the one thing she still can't accept.

She thought that she had moved on. Not until that moment, the moment that every nerve on her body can't accept the fact that she is just his past now. No more than that. She feels like she is shredding pieces by pieces. She thought she could face him after 2 long years but she was wrong.

She felt so helpless. She can't even do anything about it all she could think of is run as far away as possible but she couldn't because she is drawn to him. The one and only men she had ever loved. She thought it was only the part of her that wants answer but she was wrong. While running down and away from his room it hit her that maybe she still hopes that everything, everything might still have a chance.

"Stop running Kath, you must face him in order for you to move on if that is what you seek." Jean said.

"I don't know what to do aunt. I don't even know if this is right. It's breaking my heart seeing him like this on this condition but it hurts more finding out that he can't even remember me, that the person I truly love had forgotten me. I can't aunt." Kath replied while sobbing into tears.

"No more running Kath you must face him. What ever happened between you two he will always be your best friend. The person that saved your life. Let him know at least how much you thank him for that day. The day that you met your knight and shining armor. Come on now face it. He might not remember you now because of his accident but he will always feel safe right next to you. After all you both survive the most tragic thing ever happened between both of his and your family." Jean replied while hugging Kath.

"What should I do aunt?"

Jean then replied," Do what your heart desires to do. Tell him what your heart wants to say. Show him how the way it was before everything got messed up. Let him know what you actually feels. He might not remember you now but one day will come when he does and maybe, maybe this is the second chance that is meant for you two."