I woke up between Ian's arms. I'm smiling now and i can't help it. Mickey Milkovich, the son of fucking Terry, is waking up with a boy. No matter how hard to admit, i love him. He makes me feel undepented and i've never felt that way in my entire life before. I've always lived under the influence of my father, i wasn't able to make my own decisions. But here, with this boy i feel unstoppable. I know i'm so gay but i should've known that when i first saw him. While i'm still thinking he woke up and looked at me. I'm not sure if i should call him as my boyfriend.
"Good morning, firecrotch."
Firecrotch, really? Is it my best? But i'm so nervous. I mean what should i do now? Should kiss him or leave him there and go home. Fuck it, love is so hard. I literally don't know what to do. So i'm just gonna lay here, yeap i'll do that. It's extra hard for me to except my feelings because i grew up with Terry. It was always wrong for me to have feelings. Especially have feelings for a boy. But now i have and i can't do anything about that, i can't change it. Ofcourse Terry doesn't need to know that. What if he doesn't love me back? 'Cause if he doesn't, i- whatever.
"Good morning Mr.Milkovich."
The way he says Milkovich is incedible.
He asked me if i wanna go for a walk.
"Yeah sure but first let me take my coat."
We're walking to the park right now and i can't believe how comfortable i am with this boy.
"Why are you like this Mickey?"
"Like what?"
"You look careless and heartless but i know there is a big, loving heart inside of you. Why don't you just let that out?"
"Look i know how it looks because you live with the Gallaghers. And you guys are okay with everything. Nobody cares what the fuck the others doing. But Terry is homofobic and he doesn't except extraordinary things. Not everybody just gets to blurt out how they fucking feel every minute."
The words just came out of my mouth. But it was the time, anyway.
"But you know Mandy can except you as yourself. Don't know what to say because like you said my family and yours are not like each other. But still, we're all fucked up and that's what makes us Gallaghers and Milkovichs."
I would never think i would hear those words from Ian but it makes sense, a lot. But i know when i go home, see my father or even Mandy, i won't be able to think like that.
In the evening, Ian didin't want to go home and i didin't want him to. But ofcourse things didin't happend as we wished. We both had to go home and we both had work tomorrow.
