If ...

Chapter 8

Waking up from my daze , i shook my head to get rid of the horrible memories that chase me every single night .

The cashier hands me my coffee , i thank her and pay for it .

heading back to the apartment , i bit on the inside of my cheeks , to prevent myself from having a total breakdown .

i have refused to cry since the day at the hospital . Everyone kept crying and having breakdowns , not me .

I have always hated the feeling that comes with tears , being vulnerable and opening all your wounds to the world .

Maybe that's just what i need . i good cry. Who am i kidding ? i know that as soon as the tears will fall down my face they will never stop .

I remember when my mom screamed at me to cry after not talking to anyone of them for a whole week , i refused to eat . How could I ?

I killed my own flesh and blood !

All i felt was numb and ... Guilt 

I entered the elevator and my phone started buzzing . I fetched my phone from my pocket and saw an anonymous number .

I answered but there was no signal inside the elevator . I shrugged and waited for the doorto open .

who wants to talk to you will call you again , my sister kylie used to say

I unlocked the apartment door , and found both girls ready to go to the gym .

" you are leaving now ? " i ask them while sipping on my hot coffee

" Yea , it's already ten in the morning " Gi swings her gym bag on her shoulder .

i need to take this stress out .

" Wait for me would you ? i will be out in five " i tell them ad head for my room .

I pull my sport bra on , and slide my leggings on . i pull a hoodie on my way out , and slide my snickers on . then head for the door .

"let's go " i tell them .

i grab my coffee so i can finish it on the way down .

I press the call button on the elevator and we all wait

I open my mouth to tell the girls about the new neighbour , but a voice beats me

" Good morning ladies " the same voice i bumped into today speaks . I look around and i'm welcomed with a two hundred watts smile .

"Morning" we say in unison

" We should stop meeting in the halls " he chuckles , and i know he is talking to me .

i nod and as i'm about to answer the elevator door slides open and i'm being dragged by two arms inside

" what was that about " Gi asks with a wicked smile

"i was going to tell you " i shake my head with a smile
"i met him this morning , well i bumped into him "

"I told you , you are a lucky bitch , and don't tell me to stop cussing , because i am right here " cara smirks

" I'm not lucky , he is just our neighbour that i bumped into , nothing more , nothing less "

" whatever floats your boat kendoll " Cara murmurs

i swat her arm playfully and we all head to Gi's car .

In the ride to the gym , Cara and Gi keeps bickering over a photoshoot , while i braid my hair from the top of my head , so it won't bother me while training .

When we arrive at the gym we are welcomed by the nice lady in the front desk . We show her our membership cards and she lets us in .

I shove my bag in my locker and head for the treadmill , my stress therapy .

After running for half an hour , i join the girls and we do our usual training.

When we are done , we go back to the apartment and just as i'm about to enter tge elevator my phone buzzes .

it's the same anonymous number from this morning .

" I have to take this , i will come up as soon as i'm done " i inform the girls

"Hello ? " i say into the speaker

"uh , hi ... kendall ? " the voice on the other side says

and i know who's voice is it .

" Cristiano ? " I try to hide my surprise , but fail miserably .

" Um yeah , i'm sorry for calling you , i hope i didn't disturb you "

" No i just came back from the gym , i'm about to head to a photoshoot so you actually phoned at the right time " as soon as the words leave my mouth i face palm myself . Why did i tell him that ?

" Photoshoot ? " he sounds confused

" uh yeah , uhm i am kind of uh a ... model " i hate telling people that i am a model because they can't believe it , obviously i'm " not fit as one " or " too ugly to ne a model "

i wait for him to burst into laughter but i am totally taken off guard when he whispers something in the lines of " couldn't imagine you being sonething else " should i take that as a compliment ? i'm not sure if i heard him right anyway .

"sorry ?" i say hoping he would repeat himself

" No , uh that's why i actually phoned you , i wanted to ask you if you will accept to apply for my new summer collection casting " he fumbles with his words

" no , i mean i would be honoured but i am not that big of a model , i don't think i'm fit for a photoshoot like that " i scowl myself for my lack of confidence but i don't want to make a fool out of myself either .

" i will pretend that what you didn't say what you just said , and wait for you tomorrow , i will text you the adress of the coffee shop where i will give you all the details and answer all your questions "

i am still started by this " I .. i don't think "

" it's settled then , see you tomorrow " he says and i could hear the smile in his voice , then he hung up .

i'm left puzzled in the hallway , not knowing how dis my life take this road .

I enter the elevator and head to the apartment to tell my best friends about what had just happen .