I will not kiss you.

"I told you this was how it was going to be..." Dan said, turning away from the blue eyes staring at him. "I can't."

"Dan, I don-"

"No Phil! Don't you remember?"

"Why won't you let me in?" Phil asked softly. Dan looked away from him, finding the picture on the wall more interesting.

"I don't want to hurt you..." Dan mumbled.

"How will you do that?"

"I can't tell you." Dan sighed and got up, walking away. Phil didn't ask again.

That was back in 2012, back when they first started living together. It was now 2016, and Dan still says the same thing that he said 4 years ago. Phil huffed at Dan's words. He didn't understand why Dan wouldn't talk to him, he could tell something had started to change. Dan was more tired, he didn't want to eat, he was losing weight, he would dissappear in the middle of the day and come back late at night. Sometimes Phil could hear him throwing up in the bathroom. He was starting to worry about him and Dan wasn't helping by not giving him any information.

"I just want you to trust me." Phil said softly, grabbing Dan's hand. Dan looked back at Phil, tears in his eyes.

"I can't." He whispered and pulled away from him to walk down the hall to his room. Phil sighed and walked to the lounge and sat on the couch, leaning back to look at the ceiling.

Phil woke up that night to a sobbing noise. He immediately shot up and got out of bed, rushing to the noise. Which was coming from the closed bathroom door, Phil knocked softly.

"Dan?" He asked, the sobs stopped.

"I-I'm okay! Go back to bed!" Dan stuttered, Phil knew he wasn't okay.

"I'm coming in." Phil said and opened the door, he gasped when he saw Dan. He had tears running down his face, he turned quickly to hide the sink but Phil saw the hair in it. "Dan?" He asked softly and took a step toward him, Dan took a step back.

"S-Stay back... I-I didn't want you to see me like this." Phil's eyes glanced back to the sink before back to Dan.

"What's wrong?" Phil asked, very confused.

"Nothing! Get out!" Dan yelled and pushed Phil out of the bathroom and slammed the door in his face, locking it. Phil sighed and went back to his room, going against his better judgement. He fell back to sleep once he got into his bed. Dan sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. He shook his head and grabbed the hair that fell into the sink. He wiped his face with a wet wash cloth and went back to his own room, holding his side as he did.

Dan was in the kitchen when Phil woke up the next morning. He walked in and saw Dan staring at his bowl of cereal. It looked like he was trying to decide whether to eat it or not.

"Dan, you alright?" Phil asked sleepily. Dan jumped at his voice and looked at him. He nodded before looking back at his cereal. "You know it makes a better meal than a show." Phil chuckled at his own little joke, Dan didn't move. He sighed before taking the bowl and putting it next to the sink.

"I'm not very hungry." He said and looked at Phil. "I'm going out today, probably all day. I'll try to make it home for dinner." He added before walking back to his room, probably to get ready for the day. Phil just stood there, confused and stared after him. He got his own bowl of cereal. Dan soon came out of his room dressed in joggers and a hoodie. He said a quiet bye to Phil and walked out of the flat before Phil could say anything to him. Phil was starting to worry real bad now. He didn't let it get to him and huffed softly. He recorded and edited a video before Dan got back. When Dan did get back Phil walked over to him, looking at him with sad eyes.