Your Memes Are Just A Lie (Matt X Desi Fanfic)

hapter tree

Wait, hold on for a second. Where the frick am I? No really, I have no idea where I am right now. "69" I read from the mailbox out front. It's Tossa's house. I heard she was in a gang with Hannah and Joe, that was led by Emma, some badass who ate 300 enchiladas within 3 minutes. Stupid Matt, fricking with my head. I really do have no sense of direction. One time I ended up in frickin Mexico with a herd of Alpacas. They accepted me as their own and trusted me unLIKE MATT.

I pulled out my banana phone and began tapping it so hard. ;) I was so mad, I couldn't even unlock the lock screen with the beautiful Shaq's face on it. I was shaking so hard unlocking it was impossible. I breathed in heavily, pretending like the green tears weren't gathering around my eyes. 

The phone finally unlocked to the majestic Bugs bunny x MJ wallpaper. I opened up maps to find my way home.

The phone started ringing and a picture of Shin x Scrooge showed up along with an irritating shiiiiinnnnnn-kuuuuuuuunnn noise. I picked it up.

"Hey asswipe, what's up? I heard you got rekt?" Hannah said to me, almost laughing at me.

"What do you want?"

"Jeez Desi, Try being nice sometimes, People wouldn't think you were such trash then." She snorted

"I HavE HAD ENOUGH WITH APPRECIATION YOU EXPAND DONG. EVERYONE I KNOW IS A CRIPPLE FROM HELL. EVERYONE I SAY. EVERYONE. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? IM THE WORST. SO DON'T EVEN SAY THAT 'OH IF YOU WERE THEN EVERYONE WOULD STOP BEING IDIOTS' CUZ THEY WOULDNT HAM. THEY WOULDNT. YOU DONT GET ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"

"Haha ok what's wrong."

"I hate you all. EVERYONE"

"Ok seriously, what the fuck is wrong? If you don't tell me then you can go suck on a toe."

That was different. There was something new in her voice. Something that has never existed, concern. Genuine concern.

Suddenly, I had no words. There was complete silence.

"Desi dude, where are you?"

I said nothing

"WHERE ARE YOU MAD MAN"

I hung up on her, I then sat on the sidewalk and buried my face into my knees as my shoulders shook. I could feel waterfalls coming out of my eyes.  No more. I don't want to deal with this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm  a shitty person, I get that, but no more. NO MORE. NO. I DONT WANT THAT.

My phone rang, and even though I couldn't see it's screen as it lay turned over on the sidewalk next to me, the ringtone of hentai noises told me that it was Joe. My thumb answered it accidentally, bumping into it. So fricking cliche.

"Hey boss, you there?" His low pedo voice sounded comforting on a normal day, but I meant nothing to me right now. I just stayed there, shaking, reciting bible verses under my breath.

My hand brought the phone up to my ear and I took a deep wheeze. "Sup."

"Hey boss, are u ok?????"

"Ok who the frickin frick frickity frick told you because I don't even know how you know?"

"Know what? ;)"

"Oh, nevermind"

"Just kidding, Dorito Senpai saw you through the window at your house and told Hannah you look pretty rough, then she told me." The pedo said. A phone call then interrupted the conversation and the phone rung.