Do You Really Love Me? (Underswap!Papyrus x Abused!Suicidal!Reader)

Prologue

This is my first Undertale story, please forgive me if it's bad! Enjoy
WARNING: lots of cussing, lots of bullying, and, a lot of self harm and self hate

Again..just like before. You were walking home from school, you (h/l) (h/c) covered your eyes. You had gotten beat up again at school. You couldn't feel anything, you didn't feel the pain they gave you, you were so used to it..that it became a routine for you.

Your bullies followed you home. When you passed by an alley way, they pulled you in it. One had a hand over your mouth and nose, another one held your arms behind your back to keep you from struggling, not like you would. The last one, the strongest one you knew, he threw punches into you. You were his punching bag, as he called you that multiple times.

You never let a sound come out of you, even if them jumping you outside of school surprised you, you didn't let go. Why me..why is it always me? What did I ever do to them?! You always asked yourself this ever since they started bullying you.

The one punching you growled, "You're a waste of space, you shouldn't have been born you pathetic bitch!" He yelled at you, and punched you straight in the face. CRACK! He broke your nose.

They always called you names, from pathetic, to worthless, to ugly, to fat, to freak, to fake, almost any word in the book. It's not lile you cared, you couldn't care anymore, you lost all emotions.

You looked up at your bully, straight in the eyes. Your (e/c) eyes lost their shine, they were dull, emotionless, like you. You were growing paler by the second. "Why is it always me that you go after? I never talk to you, I stay out of your way, I don't even know you, so why me?" You asked him, your voice laced with pain, but mostly, monotone.

He let out a sinister laugh, you flinched, never hearing that laugh before. He grabbed ahold of your chin, "Because you're weak, and you always will be, fucking whore. Just look at you!" He had let go of your face.

He's right...why can't I just be good..like all the other girls in the school. They're so pretty, and then there's me..ugly, horrid..I could never please anyone even if I wanted to..

You couldn't stand it anymore, you were tired, tired of living, tired of being treated this way..tired of being you.

You had a pocket knife in your back pocket, and with all your weight in one foot, you slammed your foot down on one of the guys holding you. They retracted their grip on your arms, you took the chance to grab the pocket knife and slash the one in front of you..you slashed his chest.

You took off running, back to your house. You ran inside, and slammed the door behind you, and you heard loud arguing.

Your parents were fighting again..

Your mother was an alcoholic, and your dad was a drug user, they would always go at it every day, and mostly take their anger out on you.

Your dad was the one who heard you first. He stomped towards you, anger could be seen all over his face. He grabbed a fist full of your hair and slammed you into the wall, knocking the wind out of you. "Where were you bitch?" His breath smelt like weed, you hated that smell.

"I..got jumped dad.." you answered him in almost a whisper, you were scared of him more than your mother, he knew what he was doing, your mother did not.

"Bullshit!" He shoved the back of your head into the wall and kicked you in the stomach, and he walked upstairs to his room. Your mother heard the ruckus and walked out of the kitchen, wobbling from being drunk. She had an empty wine bottle in her hand.

She slurred, "I should have aborted you when I had the chance." She had hit the wine bottle onto your head, the glass breaking and splattering all over you.

You were now bleeding from your head, you felt dizzy, your vision was blurry, you only knew one escape..Mount Ebott.

You darted to your room before your mother can plunge the neck of the wine bottle into you. You packed all your clothes into your school bag. You also packed some snacks, and small aid kit.

You had put on your big fluffy jacket, you felt warm already. You opened up your window, and used your pocket knife to cut into the screen behind the window, and jumped out, luckily your room was on the first floor.

You ran most of the way to Mount Ebott, your chest felt like it was in flames, needing more air to breathe. Your legs felt like jello, you felt like you were about to fall. But you kept running, and once there, you were at the hole.

You knew about the stories, about how monsters were held up in the hole in Ebott. You sighed intently, you remembered you brought your razor with you.

You rolled the sleeves of your jacket up, and started cutting deep cuts into your arm, watching the blood roll down it. You smiled, you never understood why you liked the sight of blood, but you just did.

Suddenly a huge gush of wind came, and you stumbled, losing your footing you fell into the hole, and you saw the light from outside slowly disappear into a speck.