I think it hurts more when you can't tell someone you like them, more then it does when you get rejected. And trust me I know, last year I told this guy I like him but he never talked to me after that. I was in my second year of middle school then. But the thing is after I tell a boy I like them I lose the feelings. That's what sucks about it, I don't know about you personally but I try to remember to hold on to the feelings while they last because I'm the type of person to feel nothing all the time. I stopped telling my family I love them, maybe that's because I feel empty all the time, that's what makes me think there's something wrong with me. How could a guy ever love me like that if I can't show that feel to them back? My only emotion I can connect to love is happiness. The only memory of drowning is the one where I was depressed. The only real memory of saddest is when I could feel my heart tearing in to little bits. I'm not a depressed person. sometimes I wonder though why wasn't I the person to have those feelings of sadness and save my friends instead. Maybe I do have it or at least signs but Im strong enough to fight t through it or maybe I am truly blind to what I feel inside. I know it's weird a person asking why they don't have depression, well I'm not asking that because I'm crazy or because I want it I actually don't! I'm asking that because I'm the person who sees the good in bad people and the bad in good people. You guessed it I don't like a lot of people in my school. But I don't go around getting in trouble with the other kids, I have decent grades and I do my work, always trying not to get in trouble. But the people that people consider 'bad' I consider 'outcast' and I'm not saying that as a bad thing there're just the people that catch my eye. The people that have character. The real people that know the problems in the world, the people that 'I' consider REAL. The other day I said "I hate everybody" and my friend ask "am I everybody." And I answer with a no. Because in my mind everybody, is all the fake ass girls who try to be the same and get there're friends to like them, and if you do that I'm not saying that's a bad thing just be yourself once and a while or find someone you can be your true self with. And all the guys who show off just to be funny to make there friends laugh, like if you acted like yourself you wouldn't have to try so hard!
I know I can't always save everybody, but it's worth a try. So for those people who are lost or scared or alone.... you shouldn't worry because one day you'll be ahead of everybody even me, and not turn out to be one of those house wife's who has a fat husband who could care less and a bunch of horrible little children. And to my best friend who I haven't talked to in a while I'm sorry I was just trying to save a girl from hurting.
