Missingfur: Hello, and welcome to Episode 35 of I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan! Today, I shall kill Normalstar with the worst type of torture known to Earth!
Velvetpaw: Oo! Cyanide?
Missingfur: Um, no.
Velvetpaw: Deathberries?
Missingfur: No. As I was saying--
Velvetpaw: Radioactive poptarts?
Missingfur: VELVETPAW! You're ruining the suspense!
Velvetpaw: Oops.
Missingfur: As I was saying, we've decided to kill Normalstar by forcing him to attend the worst torture known to Earth-- GYM CLASS.
Missingfur leaps behind a tree and jumps out seconds later in a gym shirt, gym shorts and a whistle around his neck.
Missingfur: Ta-da!
Velvetpaw: You look stupid.
Missingfur: Was that sass I heard there?
Velvetpaw: Um...
Missingfur: *blows whistle* Ten laps around the camp! Go, go go! Time's a-wasting!
Velvetpaw: But I--
Missingfur: GO.
Missingfur cheerily grabs yoga mats from a previously non-existent broom closet and carried them happily over to a previously non-existent gym, whistling merrily as he went.
Flamepaw: Hey, Missingfur. What're all those yoga mats for?
Missingfur: Gym class, obviously.
Flamepaw: GYM CLASS??!! I've heard of this torture! Don't tell me you're inviting--
Missingfur: Oh, Normalstar!
Normalstar: *sticking his head out* Yes, Missingfur?
Missingfur: Oh, I was just wondering whether you'd like to join my gym class! It's a great way to get in shape, plus it's TONS of fun! And an easy A ;)
Rainbownose: What's an A?
Missingfur: Not important. Would you like to join though?
Flamepaw: No! Don't do it! He's trying to kill you with the horrors they call pushups and situps!!!!
Normalstar: *apparently deaf* Ok, sure! That sounds fun! I really want to be a fitter-than normal cat!
Rainbownose: Pick me! Pick me!
Flamepaw: NO YOU IDIOTS HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!
All cats: *ignore him*
Grumpyberry: Hmm, I approve. Less work for me it they don't get sick... I'll come too!
Soon, every cat in the entire Clan is clammering to go to Missingfur's gym-- with the exceptions of Flamepaw, whose protests are being completely ignored, and Velvetpaw, still taking laps around the camp. Missingfur leads the way to the random gym, stopping outside the door.
Missingfur: Awesome! Let's step into the pit of misery--I mean gym! I've got all the supplies set up in there.
Normalstar: Sounds great!
All the cats choose a yoga mat and lay down on it. Missingfur lets them rest a second, then abruptly blows his whistle.
Missingfur: Come on! As many situps as you can do in one minute starting NOW! Go, go, go!
All the cats struggle to get into a situp position, wincing as they begin to do situps.
Missingfur: Come on! I know you can do better than that!
Normalstar: *struggling to do ten* So...tired...can't...give up...
Rainbownose: *on his fiftieth* This is fun :D
Missingfur: Time!
Normalstar collapses to the ground, exhausted.
Normalstar: Thank...goodness it's over...
Missingfur: Awesome job, guys! That was round one of six :D
Normalstar: Wait what--
Missingfur: *blows whistle again* COME ON YOU'VE GOT THIS! ROUND TWO, AIM FOR 100 SITUPS!
Normalstar: *tries to do a stiup* Can't...breathe...
Velvetpaw: *runs into the gym, out of breath* D-done... WOW Missingfur you're actually doing it?! You're actually succeeding in killing--
Missingfur: SHHHHH.
Normalstar: H-help...
Sparkwhisker: *accidentally falls off his mat and watches it roll away* Whoops. I'll fix it don't worry bro.
Missingfur: WAIT NO
Sparkwhisker: *throws mat back at his spot*
Normalstar: OW. *is knocked out of situp position by the mat*
Grumpyberry: Normalstar are you ok?!
Tallshadow: Of course he is.
Grumpyberry: Oh thank StarClan!
Missingfur: *quietly* Nooooooooooooo!
Flamepaw: *poking Tallshadow with his tail* I'm telling you, he tried to kill Normalstar just there!
Tallshadow: Eh, too bad that I don't care.
Missingfur: Noooooo I was so close this time :'(
Everyone leaves the room except Velvetpaw and Missingfur, who look VERY irritated it didn't work.
Velvetpaw: *a pause* Can you take that dumb whistle off?
Missingfur: Sass again? TWENTY LAPS!
Velvetpaw: Nooooo not again...
Brought to you by Ember :)
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I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan
Юмор[Cover and concept by Frostfire] Welcome to our new show, hosted by Missingfur, who may or may not be planning to take over the world.
