Your Memes Are Just A Lie (Matt X Desi Fanfic)

Untitled Part Four ;)

I tensed up, everything stinging. "Desi, I can't believe it. You were really lucky about the glass and that.  Not about everything else.  I suck with words. " Joes pedo-like voice still comforted me even though it was all the wrong words. Having some form of attention after almost a week of wondering if the only person I thought cared for me, ended up not, that comforted me to a certain degree. I almost screamed murder as Joe's hairy yaoi hands applied some form of deadly drug onto me. Was it trying to kill me or heal me? I don't fricking know.

"Ahuhuhu I just got off the phone with-" Tossa came into the room with tamales shoved into her mouth. Everyone was walking on glass around me.

 "Yeah, what did he fricking say? I wanna know his excuse for being a doucheavalanche." I moaned erotically.

"Your hentai neighbor called the po-po, and by the way Deso, you are vERY lucky you didn't get thrown in po-po jail."

"God I really fricking HATE that guy."

Now, I'll confess I screamed from the mixture of tequila on cuts and life itself. "Boss stop, you're only making it worse." Joe said. How on this frickin earth is screaming going to make this worse? How in the shitdick of a universe am I lucky to have my MAN cheat on me with a fricking Mexican? Maybe I should just GIVE UP ON FRIENDS AND LIFE BECAUSE I APPEAR TO BE CHOOSING THE WORST ONES TO BEFRIEND.

Of course, I showed all of this through a twitch of my nose. I didn't feel like doing anything. I didn't WANT to do anything. 

Benito's nose peeped out from over his book, which he then put down in his lap. "Deso, it's come to my attention that you're not responding to any of this."

"Meh."

He leaned over slightly to the chair in which I sat in and BOY did he smell like pizza. "How're you feeling?" he said.

"Meh, emotionally drained."

"Okay, Benito, that's enough, you're going to stress him out." Joe snapped, seeing as I wasn't replying. "Boss, I'm going to arrange the spare room for you, okay?" Joe said then got up and disappeared into the house.

"Does everyone just happen to know what"s going on in my life all the fricking time?" It took all of my energy to get the words out of my mouth, and it wasn't even so much of a phrase as it was more of a grumble to myself. I hadn't intended for anyone to hear it, but of course, someone did.

"Only those in connection to us." Came a voice from Benito, and he didn't even look up from the yaoi manga that was in his hands. "So yes, your friends do."

My nose twitched again.

"Deso, okay," Tossa was over in the kitchen, and I had to force my neck to turn and face her. It felt like I was trying to twist a rusty pipe. "I'm not gonna lie XD, I'm not the best with words of 'consolation' ." She said the world consolation like it was revoltingly stupid.

"like I don't know."

"That's the spirit!" The weeaboo cheered on, slightly sarcastically but also seeming completely genuine in that mix she always seemed to convey. "Already turning back into a narcissistic mad man!"

"Listen, Deso, if I were you I'd get back together with him. I've got an INKLING this is just a misunderstanding," Tossa said.

"AN INKLING????"

Suddenly, Tossa's phone began to make the shiiiiiiin-kuuuuuun noise. Hannah, on the other side of the line, screamed "WHO SAID INKLING" loud enough for the people in the room to hear. We then all heard incomprehensible screaming from her until Tossa hung up on her and texted a message.

"An inkling, yes" Tossa stated again, looking and sounding very frickin smug and sure of herself like the frickin weeaboo she is.

"YOU THINK THIS IS ALL SOME FORM OF MISUNDERSTANDING??" That's when I exploded. "I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S SME FORM OF A MISUNDERSTANDING, WEEABOO. THE WAY YOU READ THE ATMOSPHERE! YOU WANNA KNOW ANOTHER MISUNDERSTANDING???? SEEING YOUR FUCKBOY DOUCHEBAG OF A BOYFRIEND'S DICK LAYING ON TOP OF A UNDERAGE MEXICAN!"

That shut her up. Smh.  Then the door opened with a slam on the wall.

"DESI I HEARD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AND- OMG!" Hannah said, who had just been running for she was wheezing.

"Are the doors in this house ever locked?"I  said to Benito.

"Nope." said by the french man in the room.

"What did they do to you?" Hannah said, moving towards me. She examined my bandages from the glass.

"The question is you slack of ham, is what did I fricking do to myself?? You know, besides eternally hating every single part of my existence and physical being."

A slight, smirky laugh erupted from the ham, then followed by a monotone "Same."

"You hurt yourself pretty bad this time didn't you Desi?" Hannah said.

"Woah, no shit!"

"Matt's a douche, don't worry."

I rolled my eyes, "Once again, no shit!"

"Do you want me to crush him by sitting on his lap?"

"It's good."

"By the way, what the frick is up with your phone? I must've tried calling you 500 freaking times."

"It doesn't fRICKIN matter."

"He broke it.." Tossa and Benito said together. I darted into them with a gaze that probably looked more hurtful than I'd intended. Damn my inner sensitivity, I'm so careless all the frickin time.

"WHAT? HOW??????" Hannah's face was completely dead inside.

"Oh my goooooooooodd, who caresss??????"

Hannah immediately looked at Tossa.

"He threw it at a window." the weeaboo said.

Now Hannah's arms were flailing around over her head, losing it. "DESI, I FIXED THAT PHONE LIKE TWO DAYS AGO, DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET IT WORKING AGAIN?? YOU SCRUB! I'D TALK EMMA INTO BEATING YOU UP RIGHT NOW IF SHE WERE HERE!"

"BENITO, I WILL DESTROY YOU, AND TOSSA, I WILL KILL YOU." Benito had to stifle his laughing, which was surprisingly loud and disorganized for him. Tossa's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Footsteps came from the direction of the bedrooms and Pastery Raphadilla with Joe came.

"Desi, we've arranged the guest bedroom for you. You're welcome to relax now. I'm going to go and retrieve your things from your house. Since we know that you are unable to talk to Matthew Grover due to a problem that is ubiquitous amongst fuckboys." The thing with Pastery is that he always says things so calmly and erotic, that it immediately makes you feel like there's something right in the world. Not only that, but he tells things as they are, which makes you feel like you're a human again. Sometimes it sucks, and sometimes it brings you down to earth, that's Pastery Raphadilla.

"You're allowed to stay for as long as you'd like," Joe said after him.

"Thank bebezle, I'll see you bitches tomorrow," I said, flailing my arms in the air. 

"Goodnight boss!"

"See you, mad man."

"Have a Frenchy rest!"

"NIGHTY NIGHT DESO!!!!!!!!!!!!111111one"

I stopped in the hallway.

"Thank's guys, I mean it." Then I went off before I could get any reply. I could still feel the stinging from the glass on my face. I could still feel the hurt from Matt, the way he used me when I thought he cared. What about me wasn't good enough? Oh yeah, everything.

But I could also feel like I had someplace to go to when I'd hit the bottom, and hey, maybe if I was lucky enough, my 'boyfriend' got arrested by the cops I had indirectly sent earlier.