She’d been walking aimlessly for the past hour, her mind drifting between admiring her beautiful surroundings and thoughts of the one who caused her to run away.
5 days ago, she’d hurriedly left Manila with her Ate Lakam. Her sisters tried to talk her out of it. There was no use running away, they said. Yet, she justified it by saying that she just needed a break from work and so they reluctantly agreed. She chose this place because her Ate Kris told her that maybe she’d find herself here – that maybe the tranquil beauty of the place would help calm her. And her ate was right, from the moment she saw the twinkling lights of Paris, she knew she had come to the right place. And in her heart, she knew that her ates all knew without her admitting to it that the real reason she left was because she was afraid to love again.
Today, her ate had allowed her to wander on her own. She soon found herself walking past the Louvre and down to the Tuileries. The sight of the garden starting to bloom for spring pulled her out of her brooding thoughts. She hurriedly pulled out her phone and snapped a picture. The scene before her – flower buds starting to open up amidst the startlingly green grass – struck a chord with her. Before long, she had uploaded the picture on her Instagram page.
@chinitaprincess: Budding flowers… hope…
Putting her phone back in her bag, she headed towards one of the stalls and ordered a Nutella crepe. In the few days she’d been here, this had become one of her staple snacks. The mouthwatering scent of the cooking crepe and the sight of the gooey Nutella always made her cave in. As soon as she had her snack, she headed towards one of the benches under the trees. The large branches kept her out of the chilly wind. The weather today had been gloomy perfectly matching her brooding thoughts.
Soon, her crepe was finished and there was nothing to distract her. Seeing the lovers walking around, hands wrapped around one another just brought her back to her troubled thoughts. She shifted in her seat and pulled her light jacket tighter around her and then wrapped a pretty pink scarf around her neck for more warmth. Before she knew it, her thoughts had flown thousands of miles back to Manila, specifically to memories of a special someone….
Midnight jamming sessions while waiting for their turn on-set
Corny, cheesy jokes sent at random times in the day
Bright, smiling eyes looking right back at her
Large hands wrapped around hers making her feel safe
Random meaningless and soul-baring conversations
Her mind flitted from memory to memory, each one squeezing her heart even more. She felt a pang from reliving those memories. She’d thought that coming here, she could somehow quiet her whirling thoughts and still her pounding heart. Yet, she’d ended up thinking about him more. She missed him with an intensity she couldn’t describe. She sighed and turned her eyes towards the sky, asking God for an answer. He’d done nothing wrong. In fact, he’s everything she had ever dreamed of. He wasn’t perfect because no one was but he was perfect for her. Her previous heartbreak had left her heart shattered and scarred. It took months for her to heal but even after, she’d built a thick wall around it. Slowly but surely, he’d torn down her defenses one by one. And now, all she was left with was a thin shield that she was trying to keep up. She was the only one who could take it down because it was the one she left for herself. But maybe, it was time to stop thinking with her head all the time. Maybe, it was time to listen to her heart.
Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes and tried to let all her worries go. “Let go, Kim….”, she whispered to herself. Once she’d decided to let all her inhibitions and apprehensions go, she left light and peaceful. A grin spread across her face and slowly, she opened her eyes and looked up again, the afternoon sun was slowly peeking out from the clouds turning her colorful surroundings even more beautiful. She took that as a positive sign.
