Losing Control

Part 1 ''Empty''

It was gone that feel I had when I first saw him ,when he first saw me, when we first talked ,the first time he made me laugh he was there through it all never left my  side told me he would never leave no matter the situation nothing could ever break us apart. I'm was confused ,broken ,empty  I felt  betrayed, stupid ,ugly, worthless how could I be such a fool? before daddy left before he left me with a big black whole in my heart he always said to me baby girl no one in this world could possibly love you as much as I do I wish he was here so I could tell him no one in this world could possibly  hurt me as much he  did. There I was in my bed almost the whole day pretending to be sick just so I wouldn't have to see you walking around the halls in school with my heart which you ripped out of my chest in your hand slowing beating every time I see you it slowly kills me more and more. Now I just spend my days writing love/hate poems to ease the pain inside.

You were playing me and I let you I should of never even messed with you, its crazy when you said you loved me I believed that tried to keep it on the low but I just couldn't hole back its so sad but I'm not the type to ever slack I had to step back and finally realized that you were just wack I really hate it when I think about you because I know my life is better when I'm not around you getting hurt by the person I gave my heart to its my fault because I let you play me like a fool it was something I couldn't take so I couldn't really stay and social media don't make it any easier these days I really hate it when you tell me you gone change because every time I look up man you still doing the same you messed me up.

I don't really understand what you got from it breaking my heart and lieing  to me I mean after my dad left you held me down told me to smile and remove the frown you made me laugh and now I cant see what I saw in you I'm disappointed in myself I told you everything and it still hurts I cant stop feeling like I'm about to burst I'm keeping it all inside thanks to you I might just cry.