Running won't work. I've thought about using my wings but sadly I forgot how to fly. I remember the feeling of wind blowing through my white hair, but no longer can that be possible. Because an angel trapped in hell has no way out. I've searched every single crevasse in this seemingly isolated place but haven't found a single gap large enough for me to wiggle through. There is no way for me to escape, yet I still search. Sometimes the darkness is overwhelming, and the heat doesn't help either. And yes there are other Demons down here but none of them seem to have any interest in the likes of me. I walk an walk and walk. There really is no end. No possible way to sate my searching soul. I used to not believe in things like heaven and hell. But that was before I had learned that my whole life before I was sent to this fiery abyss was actually in God's domain. Most people believe that heaven is a blinding white place full of beauty, but that is not true. I imaging that earth looks similar to how it does in my former home. Humongous trees reaching higher than the eye can see, mountains even taller. The ground is green and full of life. Is that not how it is on Earth? Or maybe each person's interpretation of heaven is slightly clouded. But I cannot say for sure. As for Hell, there is no light. Nothing can be seen, only felt. It drives me mad that I can't see what I am touching with my hands. Feeling is not pleasant either. Everything is a harsh heat that burns your finger and toes to the bone. Unless you are a former angle like me. I still feel the heat but my fingers don't burn.
And the darkness is not relative. Some humans call the way we see down here blind. We see nothing and no one. There is no way to tell who you are with or where you are. I don't think that I can take it much longer. I have lost count of the days or is it years that I have been here. I am beginning to believe that this is not even the true "hell". That there may be more hotter levels that people that have committed worse crimes that I or anyone around me have committed. Like more levels the worse you sin the lower the level you are sent to. Because the ground seems to echo with the heavy clunk of metal on a blunt object. The sound is absolutely defining.
There is not really any guards or sentry to keep us from leaving. That only convinced me more that there is no escape. My only hope is that God might forgive me for the crime that I had committed. It is sort of a burden when thinking of what I had done, because I cannot find anything wrong with falling in love.
I was assigned to be his guardian angel since he was conceived. I watched him grow into a young man. I believed that he was more handsome than God himself. And that was my fault. Holding the boy higher than the lord. I worshiped this boy, and when I showed my self to him he was eighteen years in human age. The year that humans were considered to be adults. I came to him in a dream. He was astonished that he dreamt of an angel with flowing silver hair and white wings that spanned to be twice my body length. At first he didn't believe his eyes. But when I landed on the ground next to him and grazed my hand on his cheek his eyes filled with understanding. He realized I was real. I then left him to live his life.
I watched him from above for his whole life. It broke my heart when he found love in a human woman who could never love him the way I did. When my heart broke so did my wings and I fell from the clouds. When I first fell I thought that I would hit like a meteorite against the Earth's crust but instead I fazed through the ground like a ghost. I felt no pain after that until I hit the highest level in hell. At first I didn't know what to do with my newly acquired blindness and wings that dragged behind me with every step I took. Eventually my white feathers molted to grow back in colors I will never know. But if I had to guess I would guess that they were black.
I tried speaking to other people but hey ignored me. I knew they could tell I was there because after a while of being in hell you could feel the presence of others. Whenever I first tried to fly it felt as if my wings snapped all over again. So I had no choice but to just let them drag behind me.
This is my story. The story of the lovestruck angel who's wings snapped the same time her heart did. What's your story. I challenge you to tell the story of your unforgiving past. Fortunately for my story it ended up well. For I was forgiving by the lord whenever the man I was heart broken over past away and went to heaven. I was accepted back into heaven and never loved again.
