3 A.M.

Drowning

Push me down beneath the surface and wonder why I've stopped breathing, rip me up from the ground, float me through the stars and wonder why I feel uneasy.

Drag my bones across temples of fallen gods and ask yourself why I'm haunting you.

Forgotten fights that lead to depressing nights, brimming with mindless shrinks wondering why I drink.

Pass the bottle quickly now, and laugh when I fall as I bow, ask me for my secrets and obviously don't keep it..

Push me into the deepest ocean and wonder why my lips are blue.

It's all because of you.

You a thoughtless existence carving into my mind, you once triggered me to do things I'd never understand.

When I was a child I used to draw lines in the sand and you had me carving lines on my own land, the soft skin ripping easily from the tear of the bright metal.

I would stop for a few days, but you'd always crawl back to me, pulling yourself across my limbs saying I only needed a trim.

Cuts turned to cutting meals, and that's why my family made you a big deal.

I wouldn't eat, and then, I'd get beat, beat by myself in the shower at four in the morning because who could love the child that couldn't love herself.

You could.

The slender width of your sharp sides, able to cause deep into my thighs.

But it's been 10 months and I still haven't broken you out of the bottom drawer in my closet.

I don't need you.