I woke up in another panic state for the fourth time today. My lucid dreams needed to get under control, but I know that it's impossible for me to control them. I felt the sweat on my forehead and on the back of my neck... Funny because it's about 30 degrees outside and I love wearing shorts in the winter.
I lay in bed with a sharp pain in my forehead, curling myself into a tiny ball in the middle of my bed. I knew what I saw in my dreams. He was in them again... It sucked because no matter what I did, I couldn't come out and ask for his help. He would just think I'm another crazy fan girl... But I'm not... I'm his daughter... I just wish that my dad, Vic, knew. But for right now he was a part of my dream.
It's crazy, right? Having lucid dreams but not having control. I've always had them, but when I turned 8 my grandma said I tried to kill myself in my sleep. Since then the dreams have gotten worst. They're always the same. My mom leaves me and my brother at my grandma's house. Grandma shunned us, and we are barely living. I fall and my brother falls faster. My dad catches me, but I fall into the fire of pit. Maybe I should just rest again.
It sucks to be me, but hopefully my dream will finally be my escape...
