This Dull World

Chapter I

I can't see colors.

In fact, more than half of the population can't. Hell, we don't even know if colors really exist.

My mom once tried to explain it to me. How extraordinarily breathtaking these colors are. How they bring the world around us to life.

I imagine colors are similar to music; beautiful in a way nothing else is. Captivatingly different, somehow, only true to itself.

But, perhaps I will never be able to experience the universe blooming to life.

I've accepted that. I think.

I know that not everyone is meant to fall in love.

Though I've tried to do so, giving men countless chances to forge that exquisite world that starts at my heart. However, it just seems I am one of the unlucky ones.

I will never find my soul mate.

I will never learn what red is, what green is, what any color is.

All I see is an endless abyss of black and white.

It's consuming— this dull world that swallows me each and everyday. I want to take these lifeless shades of gray and convert them into something heavenly.

But the simple truth is, I can't.

Wren?

Not alone.

Wren?

And though it kills me, I do continue to learn to live with it.

Or perhaps I'm only lying to myself.

"Wren!" I feel his cold hands like ice on my arms, shaking me back to reality. "You blacked out again." His voice sounded so disappointed.

"I... did?" My tone matching his.

"Yes... Come on, I'll get you some water." He held his hand out for me to take, though part of me wanted to deny him, I took it anyways.

His arm led me down the hall, cautious with each step. His eyes often checking back on me to make sure I was stable.

He sat be down in a chair. "Hold tight, babe."

I sat there obediently, waiting.

Cliff and I have never discussed the colors before. I'm not sure if it's because we both know the world is still lifeless as ever, or if it's because we're not supposed to.

Literally, we aren't supposed to talk about the beautiful world. It's a law. If we're caught talking about the colors, it's a life sentence.

I never really understood that until recently.

"Here, drink." He put the glass up to my mouth, using his other hand to tip my head back slightly.

"Uh-" I stopped him. "I can handle myself, Cliff, but thanks." I took the glass from his hand, soothing my throat with the icy cold water.

"Why are you so cold lately?" His words cutting straight through me.

"I don't know." I lied. "I'm not feeling that well, I guess."

"Give it a break, Wren. I can tell when you're lying."

"I'm not lying!" My eyebrow twitched.

"Really?" A wide grin grew on his face. "Explain that then."

I was quick to cover my face, a sad attempt in hiding my eyebrow from him.

"What?" He was even quicker to ask, I felt his breath on me when he got closer. "Babe, tell me. Please."

But the truth is, I don't know why either.

"I said I don't know, Cliff." My tone so firm.

He nodded his head. "Sure, okay." He stood, pacing a bit, working up the courage to say something.

"What?" My eyes glaring into him like daggers.

"It's just..." His fingers were running through his brown hair. "God, Wren. It's not even you anymore. And I'm sure that sounds cliche, but I don't care. I can't feel a connection between us lately... like... I don't know."

"I know you know, so tell me."

And suddenly he's on me like an animal, his hands around my wrists, pinning me against a wall. I was unable to speak. Or even breathe.

"Tell me, damn it!" He forced out, sweat tripping from his forehead. I would have noticed the veins popping from his forehead if I wasn't so focused on his eyes.

Because for a moment, I though I might have seen a spec of color in there, until I realized there was nothing more than a sad boy.

A sad boy who was black and white.

"Fucking answer me!" His force on me was growing stronger. "Wren, I swear!"

I've always hated how moody he was.

"Cl—" But he cut me off.

"You're cheating on me, I knew it." He released me.

"What the— I am not!" I choked on my words, I looked so guilty I thought. But I wasn't a cheater.

"Wren, you're such a shitty liar!" His voice was loud again, smacking me in the face with each word.

 "Yeah? And you've a shitty tempter, Cliff. Piss off." I couldn't hold back, I tried again and again to deal with his little temper tantrums. He acts like a fucking ten year old. He's such a pussy sometimes.

I left, I didn't want to talk to him anymore for the rest of the day. I put on my leather boots and set out to go god knows where. 

All I know is I'm determined to get away.

Just for a little bit.