The Doctor's Journal

Okay everyone this is my first fanfic I have ever written and I really like it, but I am unsure how it will turn out. All comments and votes are loved and appreciated.

In wondering around in all time and space I find out that there is a lot more to this life then I let on. Friends, enemies, and of course family......family. There have been so many times when that word has hurt me beyond any measure. My pain is part of my life I can't live with it and I can't live without it. So what is a poor, lonely old man to do when his is faced with life and death every second of the day? He runs as fast as he can. He saves who he can and leaves the rest. I don't want to leave them, but what am I to do? Please will someone tell me?! I need to know. Is there any point of even begging them for anything. They ask everything from me and I get nothing in return. They saved me just because they need me. Well I don't need them! I don't need anyone! Expect for those people that mean the most to me. All and every single one of my companions, they are much more then just friends. They are my life support and family.....Oh there's that lonely word again. I love them and miss them... But my question of the hour is this. Where do I go from here? What do I do? I'm now alone with no Clara, no Amy or Rory, no Rose or Jack, Martha or Mickey, or even Donna and her grandpa. I'm alone.... and this is my life.

In all honesty what is the point of having companions? All they do is get in the way and when you start to really love them they die! Then here I am saving worlds by myself. Well that is over. I am on my 14th or is it 13th regeneration? I'm unsure of that. This time my regeneration took a darker turn. I was an older much more appropriate with my age of 1000+, but when he came to an end I found myself longing to be young again. Well here I am! With long black hair and bright blue eyes, I never figured I would be this. My sharp features where young again! Left handed for sure. Then there is of course the skinniness! Why so skinny? I can't complain though about it can I? No, No I can't. Damn, well I guess I should explain how I got to look this young again. It all started after my regeneration on the clock tower and the time lords gave me a new regeneration cycle. I went about saving the worlds with Clara who after the tremendous shock became close friends again. Up until she finally had to much. She died.....I did everything! EVERYTHING! I could stop them and save her, but even I couldn't be in two places at once and she had to be the sacrifice to save billions. Strike one.

After her though I found this young lady about the age of 24. Just a mere child, but she was good company. Her name was Megan, simple and sweet and had a thirst for adventure. She had short brown hair, big brown eyes that held the patience of a saint. Shorter then me she had a hell of a wild side. She wouldn't wait for me to stop things she would get right in the middle and surprising everyone (me included) and would save the day. Then she started to change, and not for the better. She started to want power. Where like me she could turn an army away with its tail between it's legs with just the mention of her name. I kept telling her that was impossible and that is not a life that she would want to live. In the end I had to leave her on Earth. She wasn't very happy with me of course, but it was for the better. Strike two. Now this is where it starts to get a little bit more interesting.

She not only teamed up with some person who hated me, but she also set out to kill me! The good part is that I didn't tell her that it is really hard to kill a time lord. So neither her or her partner knew that you couldn't kill me fully with just high electric bolts, but they tried only resulting in my regeneration. So from there I was able to sneak up on them and stop them from killing thousands of people on Earth so they could control it. That is not all though. She came after me yelling that it was my fault she turned out like that. I told I only wanted a friend that I could rely on. Just company nothing more and nothing less. The place was on fire and about to explode with me standing in the only exit and Megan stood on the inside.. She begged me to forgive her, but how to forgive someone who just killed you or well tried to kill you a few hours ago? So I left her I turned my back and soniced to door shut behind me and walked away to her cries and pleas for forgiveness when I had none to spare for her. You don't try to kill me and get to live once friend or not. Strike three. I have lived a far to long of a life to be fooled by simple humans. I am done with companions and humans. After being stabbed in the back by someone I cared about. Then these damn time lords wanting and begging for me to set them free when only it would start another time war. Yeah like I am going to waste my time with that. So here I am sitting in my T.A.R.D.I.S reading a book wondering what planet will she take me next so I can save it and then leave back to my lonely life. Just the way I need it now. Alone and free.

It was about 200 years after the whole Megan death incident and I was starting to get bored with this life. It was all about saving people and taking nothing in return. Just going back to my ship and heading to the next lonely world that was about to be doomed. So many people wanted no...begged me to let them come with me. I couldn't...I just couldn't do it. To much betrayal was wrapped around this regeneration and I know I can't trust no one, but myself and even then I was unsure if I could trust me. Rule one, the Doctor lies. Isn't that what I always told my companions when I had them? I believe it was. Yet they still trusted me with their lives. How? I always wondered, I lied to them and I hurt them. I hide the truth so they would stay with me and they still would follow me to the ends of the universe and back without blinking an eye.

It wasn't until my T.A.R.D.I.S decided to take me back to Earth. It's been so long since I was last here, but nothing has really changed. Year 2014. No surprise there that she took me back in time. I shook my head as I stepped out of the safety of my ship to this ungrateful world. Why here again! I thought I was done with it over 200 hundred years ago! Apparently not according to my ship. Anyway I couldn't help but take in a deep breath of the Earth's air and close my eyes and remember the good old days. I couldn't help it, so much of my life was spent here and now that I left it, I start to remember why I loved it so much. I landed near a play ground I noticed children were laughing. Smiling a little bit bigger I turned and walk towards them when I notice something strange. Wonderful, I forgot that there will be trouble the only thing is, what is that trouble? It could be anything, by right now I want to wonder this once great planet and remember. That is always what Clara said right? Run you clever boy and remember. Well I'm not running yet so ill just walk and remember. So where am I? London most defiantly. I look around and saw in the far distance Big Ben. Yup London good old London.